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In a good relationship, there are two people. Each person takes the both people into account.

That is, one person does not lose themselves or subordinate themselves in the interests or to please or placate the other. And the other person does not dominate.

You can limit your relationships by creating rules that you follow and order, sharing the rules or not sharing them. Then you can exclude anyone who does not fit. If you make the rules secret enough and strict enough you will end up alone.

If you try to always meet the other person where they are, and from where you are, that is sacred. You hold both people valuable yet do not require the other person to be a race, a gender, a religion, a believer, a democrat, a vegetarian, a citizen.

In clinic I can only meet a person half way. But if I go half way, most of them will meet me. There are some who will not: they want a prescription that I am not comfortable with, they refuse tests, they are out of control. But in 16 years, I have only asked three patients to find another doctor: all because they were scaring me and moving deeper into a harmful direction. I said that I hoped they would find a physician that they wanted to listen to and work with.

In all relationships there are two people. Listen and hold sacred: both.

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