Yesterday I watched some of a someone's family with outsider eyes.
When I first dropped my blood onto
red-wet finger of my brother,
and shook on it, well.
That made us brothers, then, the end.
They say you always have family, but blood brothers are like water in fingers.
They want to go with gravity, they don't follow you floating up and up.
Even if you're full of them forever, they wash off their hands and become clean.
You stay dirty.
Even if they take a little bit of your life, and maybe it's on their bookshelf, or their underwear drawer.
Next time you see someone, with blue eyes like that, grab his woman by the hair, wrist, neck, daughter, cunt-NO!
Next time you see someone with a jaw like that and you hand him your change and he smiles with teeth like that and his shoulders beckon like a lover-NO!
Next time you stay home, for fear of meeting him, but your sleep is filled with-NO!
Next time you smell that cologne. That's what it was, the cologne. Next time a man grabs you by the waist, wearing his cologne, you go home crying, you waste for days because you haven't smelled him like that since you were too young too young too young, too...