Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt"

• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• Necromancers really lift your spirits, but the dead can bring you down
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• Not really by the rules, but...
• In the Fifties, a visitor from Great Britain to New York City notices a young Black woman driving a limousine. A portly middle-aged man, race undetermined, is in the back. Tell her story.
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized by Her Own Chastity
• Loneliness is but a myth dispelled by you
• but with words we can create anything
• This terrain is constantly changing, but if you look closely, you can find the patterns
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• Things you can't tell just by looking at her
• A man is known by the company he keeps.
• Not her voice, but the way her voice changes,
• but mr can you maybe listen there's
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• you can touch the sun but you can't take it with you
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• YHWH declares that the substitution of LOVE with FUCK is punishable by AIDS; man responds by covering his member with plastic
• Death by Woman (user)
• I got hit by the pizza man
• I could tell by all of her dead house plants
• What can change the nature of a man?
• University students can be really stupid
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• and my heart sings of cupboards opening by rainbow seashore but
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• Guilt is a hard thing to bury but it’s a really easy thing to dig up
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• You can teach people truth, but it's harder to teach them to cope with truth.
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• How to really impress people using division by 7
• On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
• She is the queen of accidental magic. Her used kleenexes, taken by the wind, become soulful ghosts.
• But my computer really IS possessed
• Getting hit by a woman
• Proposed: The only way for a woman to achieve true ecstacy is to allow herself to be taken by the Goat God in the Circle of Candles on a moonless night
• i would much rather engage directly with the supreme powers of the universe than the horde of ghosts conjured by man
• chapters marked by love notes from another man's wife
• Can you tell I'm a man?
• You don't really drink beer in cans, do you?
• No man can eat fifty eggs
• Asking for a favor
• surrounded by stars, her dark hair blending into the fabric of the night sky
• You can tell what state a relationship is in by the type of underwear the girl is wearing
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• It is not instruction, but provocation, that I can receive from another soul.
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• She does not rustle but her flesh has the moonlit shade of a silver birch
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• A woman has 30 ways of laughing, but only 1 way in which she cries.
• he doesn't know, but her eyes widen too far
• echoes of her glisten in your eyes; i also tear but without linger
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• like you're blind but still can see
• But can a robot love.
• but her emails
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• your chances of being killed by a frog are low BUT NEVER ZERO
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• Man Getting Hit by Football
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• Fucked by the woman of your dreams
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• By Appointment to Her Majesty The Queen
• In her tomb by the sounding sea
• But what are they really thinking?
• Old man who lived by the crick
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• You can get to my heart by making me cry
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• Things you can tell just by looking at him
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• The lost man by the wayside
• The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Sexist jokes
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• I can see her face
• How can someone worship a dead naked man nailed to a cross as their god?
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• One man can make a difference
• The Old Tin Can Man
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• Can things really change?
• Fields of sunshine bloom as the midnight in her dress falls away, replaced by moonlight.
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• You can, but you may not
• All right. She can fly circles around Uranus, but where's the bathroom?
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• You can run, but you can't hide
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Libertarianism sounds good on paper, but is it really?
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• you laugh and then you cry but you're still laughing but you miss her so damn much
• Butt's Twelve by Pies
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• what she's building now, it isn't much, but it's hers
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• Man is but the imprint of his native landscape
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• But can you still cry like a child?
• Ghosts can laugh, but they're already dead
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• we can give up, but the world never will
• I am an adventurer not by choice, but by fate
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• I always imagine those surrounded by time, but I walk on top of it.
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• you can close your eyes but not your ears
• Redemption is very much like vengeance. Redemption has more valor, and is more satisfying if you obtain it. But if you chase it blindly you can waste yourself completely.
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• She is a night of dark trees, but he who is not afraid of her darkness will find banks full of roses under her cypresses
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• They had left, but her mascara kept running
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• They may take our car keys, but they'll never take our freedom
• Musical Terms Applying to Percussion that Sound Dirty But Really Aren't
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• You can judge a movie by its poster
• Being rejected by someone you really respect
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Anyone could know just by watching her silent moves
• Stand by Your Man
• Every "why" question can be answered by a phrase using the word "idiot"
• I can divide by zero
• You can pulp a story but you cannot destroy an idea.

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