Findings:
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- You, standing
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
- How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
- The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
- If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
- For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
- Opening a coke can with one hand
- AOL-Time-Warner-Disney-God will eventually get everybody's money, and no one will have to get shot
- The Tornado, or, how we almost all got killed.
- How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
- I sincerely hope you have one of these somewhere in your life.
- How to have lesbian sex
- Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
- How many "Spinal Tap" drummers have died, in total?
- How a 25-year-old can contract diaper rash in one fun night
- How to become one of the lads (if you're a girl)
- How to herd people in public
- How to flip a coin when you haven't got one
- Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
- I will take one ticket please to whatever you have to say please keep talking
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- Our minds bend and twist in the wind, our bodies fall apart, and the ghosts we leave behind have only one question: Where Have You Been?
- How to have plausible deniability if caught in a medical situation involving rectal insertion.
- How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
- How to get someone to stop playing that one song over and over
- How I got over my homophobia or the reasons that I blame my grades on a gay man
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- How to clap with one hand
- How to project one vector onto another
- Becoming an idiot, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my siblings
- How to entertain young children on little or no money
- How do you pronounce a 3? Or a 0?
- It was one of the worst things I have ever done
- These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
- How can I need kisses I have never felt?
- How to have a Scotch Tasting
- you have become one with The Anonymous
- I have enthusiasm for everything that you like or are interested in!
- The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
- How long have you known?
- This is an ode to the one I have loved the least
- How could you ever have enough?
- Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
- I have one whole anus
- How does it feel to know you are one of my bad habits?
- Overcoming arachnophobia, or how I learned to love the spiders with HUMAN HEADS!
- Strange man makes permanent visit
- How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
- How to do an overbar or overline in Microsoft Word
- The Thanksgiving Curse, or, how we keep almost getting killed.
- How to hurt yourself on one of those giant inflatable bouncy things
- How to get tree sap or pitch off your hands
- How to entertain unwashed masses on little or no money
- Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
- How to cut a deck of cards with one hand
- How to serve a cheese plate - or, how I came to love curds and eschew fashion
- How to paste one person's face over another
- How to redeem one's faith in humanity
- How many different species live on or in the average human body?
- Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
- Now that I have nothing resembling a desk, I am allowing myself a node to fantasize about one
- Why do I have to call ONLY ONE country "home?"
- Words that only have one context
- The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
- I may or may not have been naked
- I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
- For all sad words on tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been."
- how many lines of code have you written?
- How to have a great vacation in China without money
- How to have an out of body experience
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- How to say "No" and have people listen
- How long have you been in love with her?
- How to Pretend to Have a Job
- We are the ones we have been waiting for
- If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
- please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
- The 25th Amendment, or the legal way to have a coup d' etat
- Is the lock broke, or does everyone have a key?
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- How to really brush your teeth (Yes, you have been doing it wrong)
- I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
- Dr. Bloodmoney or How We Got Along After the Bomb
- Dental surgery, or, how I learned to appreciate anesthesia
- and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
- It furthers one to have somewhere to go
- You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
- Rocks Do Not Belong in the Road, or: How to Launch a Mazda Protege Into the Air
- How to tell if you are stoned or not
- How to recover a lost Linux root or Windows 2000 Administrator password
- Weather-related clichés (or how to start a conversation with a stranger)
- How many pictures is one word worth?
- How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
- Show your work, or, how my math abilities started to decline
- How to share your Cable Modem or DSL connection between two computers
- butterfly stroke
- DJuxtaposition vs. Gamestop : Or how I learned to let go of the PS2 and start loving the DC
- How I insulted a Mormon, or reason #78345 I'm an Idiot
- Moving a SharePoint portal from one drive to another
- I still can't think of anything, or how Fight Club changed my life
- How to be the first one off the line at a 4-way stop sign
- How to crack an egg with one hand
- How to determine if an egg is hard-boiled or uncooked
- How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
- How to get anywhere on the Earth in one hour
- The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
- edev: Writeuptype bugs, or how nate got stuck between two parentheses
- The UK's farmers, or How to reap a profit without worrying about pesky scruples
- How to replicate a dynamic website quickly without the source code or database
- How Solemn as One by One
- One of my IRC friends died and I don't know how to feel
- Lost love - or how I grew to love the truck stop
- How can one ever go home? Bangkok, Tokyo, Chicago, then Cleveland
- How to have fun in post-Civil War New York
- How to build an emergency bat
- How to MP3 a tape, LP or the radio
- How to scream when no one is looking
- The "How many partners have you had" question
- I still have the skull of the one that tried to bite my leg off
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- How we have grown apart
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- Why some mammals have an aversion to water
- How the mighty have fallen
- How can an atheist have morals?
- How many genes do we (humans) have?
- Signs that you or someone you know may have a problem with drugs or alcohol
- You have to watch out for the quiet ones
- How many geniuses have we lost this way?
- Smite heathens or have a beer?
- I have little or no desire to watch you perform your daily rituals
- Sex in a small car
- I guess that I am the one who has changed
- How to have an epileptic fit
- You'll be something special one day. And you -- you have to take care of your sister.
- It must have rained or something
- The Meeting, or "Have a Nice Day, Mr Hockney"
- How to "Have People"
- at the moment i have forgotten if i am abraham lincoln or captain ahab - nonetheless i am an important figure in u.s. history
- Micro or macro, we have the means to kill you
- Inventors have one hand in the junk drawer
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- How do you know if you have a sinus infection?
- I could have been one of a two
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- Coy or honestly shy, either way I have got mad designs on your dancy eyes
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
- Sex with a chicken
- Have One On Me
- No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- How and why do we (humans) have culture?
- no exact amounts since I have no idea how many people you feed
- Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
- How we could still have a President Trump
- I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
- how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
- i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
- Most people underestimate how serious things have gotten
- I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
- The unending hatred elves have of debt and how it needlessly complicates simple social interactions: an essay
- the easiest way to win an argument is to not have one
- i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
- Shaving your nuts without permanent injury and/or accidental castration
- you've been through something that no one should have to go through
- Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
- How to disable or translate caps lock in Microsoft Windows 2000
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- Coloring your name in Quake 3
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How one man could control the Senate
- New And Improved Illustrated Bartender's Manual or How to Mix Drinks of the Present Style
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- Telling real pearls from fake ones
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