Cat: (Medium sized, 6 years, black and white female) I will walk in front of you pretending you don't exist as you lay there on the living room rug.
Dog: (Small Shorkie Tzu, 16 months, blond female) I will follow you and sniff your butt for as long as you walk away from me.
Cat: I will jump up on an appliance or piece of furniture where you cannot see me.
Dog: I will go back to my lying down spot and pout because I cannot jump into invisible places.
Cat: OK, I'm bored now. I really want to play but I cannot explain the rules to this stupid dog. I've smelled my own butt. Hell, I've spent hours licking it. What in the world could be the attraction? I will jump down and see what you are doing.
Dog: I'm pissed. If you have reappeared out of nowhere, I will go out the doggie door (not the "cat door," please notice) and bark at invisible menaces to show you who actually has a "job" around here.
Cat: Goddamn, that is one loud noise for such a small dog. It pierces my sensitive eardrums. But part of me wishes I could raise that much ruckus at will.
Dog: OK. Now it's time to go back inside and show that cat who's boss. I know she was here first, but they love me more; anyone could see that. At least, I'm sure he does.
Cat: Oh, here we go. It's on now. No matter what happens, they'll take my side. At least she will.
Dog: I'm sneaking up on you.
Cat: I'm smacking you with my tail. This is the highest form of feline insult.
Dog: I'monna bite that fucking tail of yours. (Light chomp at base of flickering tail.)
Cat: HISSSS; paw swat across dog's face.
Cat: Even though I know better, I'm running away.
Dog: Oh, now you die!!
Scampering of 8 feet on tile floors brings to mind scene from Ben Hur.
Her: OK; that's enough! Kennel!
She gets up and opens door of kennel.
Dog: Shit. I hate this part. (Silent pleading as I slouch towards kennel door.)
Him: Sorry, sister. I can't help you now.
Cat: Licks paw with smug satisfaction.