celery is NOT served at movie theaters

I wish this wasn't true, really I do.

I went to the movies with a friend to see "Scary Movie" (which sucked royally) on Saturday night, and we decided to get something to eat before the show. So, we're in line for the concession stand, and a teenage couple is right in front of us. The boy orders, and then the girl walks up to the counter. She asks if what's in the display booths is all that they have. The guy working the booth gives her an odd look and says yes. She asks if they have anything healthy. The guy starts to get aggravated and says that all they really have is popcorn and candy. She says "Oh" and then pauses for a minute.

What she said next: "Are you sure, like, you don't have anything healthy? Maybe, like, some celery or something?" Her boyfriend bursts out laughing at this point, and the server goes completely bug-eyed and says, "No, ma'am, WE DO NOT HAVE CELERY AT THIS MOVIE THEATER."

...and the girl had the gall to walk off with an indignant look on her face.

The best part: I saw her again in the theater when we went inside a few minutes later, and when I saw who she was sitting with I realized that I knew who she was...she was a few years younger than me and had just graduated from my high school.

This (that is, the title of this node) isn't true.

Nowadays, many Loews/Sony theatres have small kitchens that enable them to offer such formerly unthinkable movie food as curly fries, chicken fingers, buffalo wings, and popcorn shrimp. Some of the Loews theatres in my area offer buffalo chicken fingers, but some don't have it on the menu. I don't understand this, because if they serve chicken fingers and buffalo wings, how hard can it be to put the hot sauce on the chicken fingers? (Yes, the sauce is seperate, and put on after cooking the items, I've seen it.) That, however, is beside the point. All the Loews theatres in my area sell something with hot sauce on it, during peak hours when the kitchen is open.

An aside: I happen to think that this is among the greatest things ever. Sometimes I just don't feel like popcorn or candy when I go to the movies; sometimes I just want something that's more like real food. So lately, about half the time when I go to see a movie, I get something from the kitchen, usually buffalo chicken fingers.

Back to the point; at Loews theaters, when one orders something with hot sauce on it, they serve it with a stick or two of celery, much as is done at many restaurants with orders of buffalo wings and such. I'm not sure that I understand this; I suppose that the celery is intended to ameliorate the acidic burning of the mouth resulting from eating spicy things, much as can be done with milk or bread, but it never works for me. Nevertheless, the fact still stands: celery IS served at movie theaters. And it annoys me when they don't have any left, because even though it doesn't help me eat buffalo chicken, I really like celery.

Update - June 22, 2002: They still serve it. I was at Loews Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY last night, seeing Minority Report, and I got two small sticks of celery with my buffalo chicken fingers.