I went to my local Giant grocery store for some grapefruit juice the other day and I found the find of a lifetime: seventy-two KOSHER CANDLES for a dollar ninety-nine! Of course I had to buy them. The giant HOLYLAND logo on the box sang to me. It said buy me, bask in my kosher goodness. I couldn't resist the deal, so I took them home.
They were sitting forelornly on my dorm room desk for about three days before it dawned on my that the term kosher relates to things that you can and can't eat. The candles were kosher? Could I eat the candles?
I frantically tore the box open, ready to put my theory to the test. (My roomate quickly left the room) I shoved a candle in my mouth and started chewing.
It was not good.
My hopes of becoming an enlightened candletarian were shattered until I searched Google for information on edible candles. I was ecstatic.
Edible Candles Do Exist
There is apparently a type of candlewax that is made of soy and digestible by the human body. Hmmm... food, soy, the possibility for incredibly kinky sex... Sounds like just the thing for everything2.
You can find more factual information here:
http://www.purdue.edu/UNS/html4ever/9611.Schweitzer.candles.html