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"Here, J.R., if you like hot sauces, this stuff is for you."
"Endorphin Rush, eh? Smells strong."
"No, J.R., that's too much. Just get one tine of your fork in there. That's more than enough. Okay, now wait until I get some bread for you."

from New Year's Eve 1994 (my first time)

Endorphin Rush is a hot sauce famous for its intensity, made by Garden Row Foods from Franklin Park, Illinois. Don't use too much. It's the hot sauce I use when I want my dinner to be spicy, but I don't particularly want to taste the vinegar of a sauce like Tabasco or Frank's Red Hot. Don't use too much. It's a dark brown sauce with the consistency of thick syrup or alfredo sauce, containing tomato paste, water, pepper extract, vinegar, sugar, molasses, and soy sauce. Don't use too much. "Blah blah blah," you're thinking, "so it's hot. I can eat hot foods." Good for you, you stud. I hope someone hands you a bottle and you cautiously splash half a teaspoon on your burrito.

Endorphin Rush gets its name from the fact that once you've ingested the "right" amount (half a teaspoon is a little much, but one drop isn't quite enough) your taste buds basically give up sending flavor reports and start sending your brain pain measurements on a logarithmic scale. A few minutes later, after woefully undercorrecting several times, the endorphins your body is sending to put out the fire kick in. Your ears may ring just a little. Your forehead will probably still be sweating. You may get light-headed. That's the endorphin rush.

The sauce clocks in at 120,000 Scoville Heat Units, so it's probably about 2% capsaicin. I use two or three drops in a large bowl of macaroni and cheese to turn an otherwise bland meal into something with a little bit of kick. In a batch of my Guinness and Black Bean Chili I will sometimes put as much as a tablespoon if everyone eating the batch enjoys very very spicy foods. As with any sauce this hot, you should use caution--the pepper extract in the sauce is a mild toxin and will cause chemical burns. Wash your hands carefully after handling, keep it away from any sensitive areas, and--I've said it before--don't use too much.

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