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I walked into the frigid, sterile, concrete room. There was a sharp looking metal table in the center with a cheap plastic chair on each side. I was too wired up to sit down, and leaned against the chair as I waited. It wasn’t long before my sister came into the room with her parole officer. He unlocked her handcuffs and closed the door, leaving us alone. Her eyes looked cold as the room, and as uncaring as ever.

“Here to give me another lecture?” She said and walked past me facing the far wall. “I don’t wanna hear it.” She kept her back turned to me, arms crossed, expecting me to ramble on once again about how heroin was going to kill her. I had been doing that, to no avail, for weeks. Today that would change.

In a swift, practiced movement I wrapped my arm around her neck. The details ran though mind: elbow to adam’s apple, tuck your hand into your elbow, other hand pushes down on the head; keep your head tucked, and sink in the hold. There was no way out before she figured out what was going on.

“The fuck?” She gasped and tried to wriggle out of my hold. I pulled her head and body back and brought us both to the ground. She kicked and flailed, and I used my legs to keep her down.

Enough is enough” I whispered in her ear. “You will not hurt our family anymore. You wanna die? So be it.” I swore I could hear her heart pounding. She tried to cry out, probably trying to lie her way out like she always did. I only squeezed harder, pulled the noose tighter. Her struggling started to weaken, until it suddenly stopped. The door busted in and I let the officer pull me out from under her. She laid still on the ground. One officer put me in handcuffs, the other started performing CPR. She still didn’t move. An eternity passed in seconds. Memories flashed through my head from when we were little, like playing catch in the yard, and the time we stuffed our clothes with pillows and bounced of each other like the kid’s sumo wrestling. I remembered her growing more distant as we got older. I remembered seeing her blue in a hospital bed.

She suddenly started coughing and bolted upright, thrashing like a wild animal. She punched the officer, ran to the corner and turned pinning her back against the wall. I could see it. Finally it was there. Fear was in her eyes, and I smiled.

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