fifth grade

The fifth year of school (sixth if you count kindergarten) in most American school systems, and generally the last year of elementary school. Kids 10 and 11 years old getting to the end of attending what may be the only school some have ever gone to, and getting ready for middle school/junior high and puberty.

Ahh. One of the most important periods in a person's life. Worrying about important issues like who has cooties, who's going with who, and whether the teacher will catch you throwing paper airplanes and put you on detention. I miss those days... They were a pain in the ass when they were upon me, but now there's that nostalgic feeling again...

• Being confused about feelings about boys. Or girls.
• "The talk" wherein you learn about menstruation and puberty but not sex or birth control. Ever.
• Hanging by your knees, upside down, on the monkey bars.
• Making fun of the kindergarten kids, who were fenced into their own play yard. They were so puny!
• Being picked last or first for kickball.
• Watching the boys play marbles for keepsies. Girls didn't play.
• Being the smartest or dumbest in your class. Having someone new move to town who is smarter or dumber than you.
• Playing with Barbies -- incessantly. Girls played with them the normal way. Boys poked their boobs in, pulled off their heads and laughed their asses off about it.
• Feeling too old to play with Barbies.
• Fighting with your best friend for reasons you can't quite remember now.