Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "funny how people are supposed to be awful and yet will go out of their way to save strangers from peril"

• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• only then will we be safe from each other
• how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• How to scare the hell out of people using flour
• I am a stranger. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, and there will be a massive reward for you in eternity.
• I will go. I shall go. I'll see where the end may be.
• How could anybody know how we got to be this way?
• These trains will be the death of me yet
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• Cryonic companies who will freeze you if you get in the way of their plans for world domination
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• and that's how it's supposed to be
• How to get people to clean up their core dumps
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• How To Be Funny
• Social contract theory = Treat people the way you want to be treated
• The In Sound from Way Out!
• Saving Quicktime movies from a web page
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• How the hell am I supposed to be romantic?
• Sometimes people will tell you that there are no options and they will be wrong.
• I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
• Flushing out your enemies from their lair with bad rock music
• Improving your chess game
• How to save your car from a porcupine
• I don't go out of my way to believe in anything
• But we should not be afraid. How else will we discover the answers?
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
• Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
• When I rise it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• It'd be an interesting way to go
• I worry that no matter how hard I pray, you'll always be just out of my reach
• From People Out on Dishes and Everything in the Ocean:
• Open letter from Saddam Hussein to the American peoples and the western peoples and their gov'ts
• How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
• what will the internet be like five hundred years from now?
• How can you defend people you know to be guilty?
• keep feeding the fire and it will never go out
• So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
• A half-man, half-monstertruck ex-CIA vampire must save the world the only way he knows how: with ROCK
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
• His eyes look out at me from people that I meet
• we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
• Getting out of a traffic ticket
• How to break your neck and freak people out
• How Eulenspiegel talked two hundred boys out of their shoes
• Will you go? Will you send back? A letter from Phnom Penh
• how does it feel to be carried out to the trash?
• Now this is the way the Internet is supposed to be!
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• The end will be a sellout
• Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
• Who Will Be There
• Will warez and filesharing be the salvation of freedom?
• I don't lose the irony that I believe my reflection to be a stranger
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• How To Be Happy In A Sad, Sad World
• Crown of Awful Ways
• The strengths that opposed your will shall be obedient fire in your blood
• I am not wrong. I will not be mended.
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• RIT was supposed to be built in New Mexico
• Be cool in college
• not as funny as it used to be
• Every day, in every way, I strive to be a danger to myself and others
• so that all her children will be adventurers in light
• People in prison should be treated like animals
• If you tolerate this piss then your bitter will be next
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• Automobile tire pressure
• How to be an asshole
• If people weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't be made of meat!
• Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God... Be Back by Five
• We tend to judge people only on what we perceive them to be
• This Will Be Laughing Week
• How not to be a 15 year old JavaScript hack
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• The revolution will not be televised
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• It will be in Georgia. It will be Taipei.
• How To Be Good
• In twenty years your favorite song will be playing in an elevator
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• How to be Exceptionally Friendly
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
• The revolution will not be webcast
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• Waiting for the show to be over. In oh-so-many ways.
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• the world will be remade in our image
• How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
• How to be telekinetic
• Nothing new about Ancient Greece will be learned until the Vatican is plundered
• How to Be a Charismatic Cult Leader
• I will be the first thing you will be thinking about after you wake
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• How to be a Gangsta (in 5 simple steps)
• In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• To be this good will take Sega ages
• You will know your action. You are present there, not thinking of somewhere else you ought to be.
• I will always be weird inside
• The way the music industry SHOULD be
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• All scientific theories will eventually be disproved
• I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman
• How to be happy for a certain period of time
• Why Deeahblita will never be late again
• How to be a polite smoker in a non-smoking world
• How to be a Jackass in your own home
• How to disappear completely and never be found
• You will be wrong. Embrace it.
• On the comet there will be much pie
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• It Will Always Be Here For You
• How the Moon Came to Be
• Oh sneff, will you be my cook, my thief, my wife, and my lover?
• Never be the first to let go
• In the future, hairstyles will be just like they are now
• I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library
• Let Us Be Merry Before We Go
• Marks which will never be broken
• Waiting to be wiped out by natural selection
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• How to be a convincing teenage girl on IRC
• Never give an order you know will not be obeyed
• Pay attention, this will be important later
• It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid
• How to be a Romantic Poet
• Job applications with spelling errors will be thrown away
• To all the cold people who want to be warm again
• What the American people want politics to be
• How to be a fuck-up
• There will be nobody there to shed a tear
• We are aiming for the worst and it will not be that bad.
• It's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people
• The Rock Revolution Will Not Be Televised
• Men And Women Will Never Be The Same
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• It's better to be solitary than with incompatible people
• False psychics in Florida will be charged with perjury
• And it's one more good thing that will never be again
• How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• If you behave there will be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers
• Accept this, and your next breath will be infinitely sweeter.
• I fear I will be nothing
• Thoughts on how religious proscriptions came to be
• how to be a friend
• Will I cease to be
• I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries
• Someday we will all be crude oil and diamonds
• Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
• If you tolerate this your children will be next
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• There will be time, there will be time, to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet
• The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now
• Will I be given that chance?
• Can the Koran from Eternity be?
• How to be anonymous
• This must be the night when I remember how to fly, when the breeze catches my weight at last
• How to approach a developer who may well be working and ask him a question
• In the future, all turds will be perfectly round
• Where's the kaboom?
• Education is evil. Knowledge is evil. Be a moron. Forget how to spell.
• How to be a troll
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• Goops and How to be Them
• How the Sun Came to Be
• Lessons to be learned from Napster
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• When we finally fall, it will be fast and sure

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