Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "he says it was because I was young, annoying, and when I spun my waist-length plait hit him in the face"

• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• I married him because he was not mean
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• When I was Fair and Young
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
• when life was kind and we were two young wide-eyed believers
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• When I was young
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• When I was young Time had no wings
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• some say he was never here at all
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• When touch was simple
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• I was Chris to him
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• When the Space Shuttle Columbia was destroyed on re-entry, I felt a deep sorrow that Cowboy Bebop was now implausible
• I remember when all this was trees
• You hit the nail on the head and the nail was directly above my heart
• At least he was gentle
• A pocket-sized device with a single button that says, "Everything as it was one minute ago".
• When again between cities was comfortable and right
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• When I was five
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• Oh, when I was in love with you
• I was trying to show him my insides, you know. I like to share.
• He Was Only Joking
• And When The Sky Was Opened
• The light on the bottom of the pool that you thought was real when you were a child
• When I Was a Babe
• And when she came back she was nobody's wife
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• When I Was a Boy
• I once was a clueless young noder
• When I was your age
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• Pain and beauty, our constant bedfellows. Young as I was, I understood.
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• The emotion on her face was always the one that she was feeling in her heart
• he was a punk poet himself
• The sparkle of this angled blossoming was invading the Earth, and Vug said, "It's spring!" I kissed him.
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• With him it was always like
• and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• the magic that was meant to capture the outlaw instead transformed him into a monster
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• Back when our blood was still warm
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• there was a time when you couldn't just learn things instantly
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• There was a rose that faded young
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
• When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• I was young and I needed the money
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• When I Was Born for the 7th Time
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• The Revolution was Postponed Because of Rain
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• When she was bad
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• The time a thug punched my friend in the face because he could
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• He was found
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• man when you are telling me how it was
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
• I was once young and had a home
• When I was 9
• I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
• The first time I saw him was I emit tsal ehT
• When Frederic Was a Little Lad
• all it cost him was a Penny
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• When I Was A Baby
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• Some time when I was a teenager
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
• Little plaques that say "So-And-So Was Born Here"
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• That's Just How He Was
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• It was hard to say hello. It was even harder to say goodbye.
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• There was a young lady of Riga
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• November 4, 1995
• Back when grunge was still cool
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• More than he was willing to give
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• There was a time when I was a better person
• When daddy was the handsome prince
• Because, perhaps she was cold
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• When I Was a Lad
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• When I was ten years old
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• All he left her was alone
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
• This was when I knew my childhood was over
• When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
• When I Was Cruel
• He Was a Crook
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• When Desire Was a Virtue
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• making certain he was touching her
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• Before I was consciously thinking of him, my body was
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug

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