Findings:

• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• Have One On Me
• This makes me ache. I have holes of aching.
• I'm going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on
• The world is bleak and horrible and depressing, so I'm going to set it on fire and laugh
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• What have you done for me lately?
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• How is poetic form going to help me scream about revolution
• The styrofoam packing peanuts are going to eat me!
• I'm a big mean censor, and I'm here to mess up all your fun
• HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
• Questions I have had today
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• To think that there are kids today that have never used a joystick
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• The wheels are moving beneath me. I have not missed my train.
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• I lost a chance at $40,000 because my mommy wouldn't let me sell my stock
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I'm Going Slightly Mad
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• If my mom doesn't let me play the violin because it's gay then ...
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• Car commercials that won't let you have any fun
• We're going to have to take Heidi home
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• It's fun to be popular. Everyone gives me drugs.
• I don't like her because she won't like me
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Foolish man. You cannot turn me into a phantom because you are frightened.
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
• Things Fairy Tales have taught me
• Strange things homeless people have said to me
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• I'm going to paint a number 7.
• Today I am going to learn to fly
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (node_forward)
• Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• Things video games have taught me
• You have no power over me
• Have you hugged a psychopath today?
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• this is how i'm going to die.
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• I'm going to be a Dad
• Buying things just because they have cool packaging
• Because I want to. Because I'm good at it.
• When you move here we will have plenty of time to have fun together
• You were never going to become more than this to me
• Where the hell do you think you're going today?
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• I'm Not Going to Lie to You
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• I'm going to miss the squirrels
• How to have fun in post-Civil War New York
• oh God, i'm going to regret this one
• Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
• Because to me that's suicide self-murder
• We know we have fallen because we know who we are
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• I'm going to kill you
• Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• Dogs that have owned me
• Shrug (Because of Me and You)
• Pity me not because the light of day
• This is the last letter I'm going to not send you
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• Good Luck, Have Fun
• Trust me, I have a pineapple
• Could you have danced with me?
• I have built me a bean-stalk into your sky!
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• I have good reason to be thirsty today
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• Why don't I have votes today?
• I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
• I have always wanted someone to say to me what you just said
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• Everything I have told you, even this, is a lie
• It's not worth thinking about. Have some tea. Come walk with me.
• I've crossed lines of words and wire, and both have cut me deep
• You have the right to be angry at me for breaking my heart.
• To anyone who this may have hurt, please forgive me. The darkness keeps calling and I must go.
• Have you been a dad today?
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• I have this mental image of God laughing at me.
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• It's all I have to bring to-day
• because I have given up any care
• Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
• This is going to waste your time because its about Martin
• blondes have more fun
• Girls Just Want to Have Fun
• Because I'm an adult
• I'm Going Home
• This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• Have fun torturing your fellow man
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• One day, I'm going to get rid of it all
• I'm Going Crazy
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• Because I still love her, because I know she still loves me.
• Screw UNIX, I'm just going to smoke pot and eat Cheetos for the rest of my life
• I'm going to Disneyland
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
• I'm Going Straight to Heaven
• I'm going to the moon
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• And the sad thing is, I know what's going to kill me
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• My neighbours are going to make me into a creepy voyeur
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• Stay there. I'm going to get my gun.
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• I'm going to run out of hints to drop
• I'm Going to Go Back There Someday
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• if you are going to steal from me, at least steal something of value
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• Have you Meta Moderated Today?
• Dreamy things people have said to me
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Have you told your parents you're gay?
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• Things Musicals Have Taught Me
• You just have to tell me these things, okay?
• I miss you because I have nothing else to miss
• What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
• It could have been me
• Archived E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (document)
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• Lady Evolution, why have you wronged me so?
• In response to you telling me I have the bluest eyes you've ever seen
• Have you hugged a fat person today?
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• I wish you could have met me before I became food
• If I win the bet, you have to pay me
• i hope i make it out, because i have a lot to tell you

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