Old friends also seem to have a problem with this idea. It seems that, while people allow themselves the ability to change and grow, to become more complete and adult, the changes and growth in their peers literally scares the living shit out of them.

The one thing I've heard the most often in the last few years since I left for college is "You've really changed."

Well, no shit.

I would certainly hope that I would change in three years, under any circumstances. Death doesn't scare me, but stagnating sure as hell does. I don't ever want to remain the same at any period in my life.

You see, every time that people tell me that I've changed since high school, what they are noting is that I have grown up. They are seeing that I am more self-assured, less of a doormat and more assertive. None of these, I would assert, are remotely bad changes. Christ, it's not like I've changed in a manner that would mean "You're sitting on a streetcorner sucking people off for crank."

We need to let each other grow up. It's not the same as letting go of the people you care about, it's just giving them room to bloom.

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