mycrazydream |at| gmail
"I will create (A'bra) as I speak (k'Dabra)."
I'm sure there's a story in here somewhere...
- The Day I Tried to Live
- March 20, 2003
- April 2, 2003
- April 8, 2003
- April 17, 2003
- April 18, 2003
- April 24, 2003
- May 27, 2003
- June 11, 2003
- You look gay
- July 8, 2003
- July 12, 2003
- July 24, 2003
- July 31, 2003
- August 8, 2003
- August 13, 2003
- September 16, 2003
- January 26, 2004
- April 20, 2004
- July 31, 2004
- March 10, 2005
- March 13, 2005
- March 15, 2005
- March 26, 2005
- March 28, 2005
- April 1, 2005
- April 3, 2005
- May 25, 2005
- May 27, 2005
- May 28, 2005
- June 25, 2005
- September 2, 2005
- September 13, 2005
- September 24, 2005
- October 1, 2005
- October 4, 2005
- October 15, 2005
- November 23, 2005
- February 26, 2006
- April 5, 2006
- A man walks into a bar...
- July 30, 2006
- August 6, 2006
- September 7, 2006
- September 17, 2006
- November 24, 2006
- December 9, 2006
- February 12, 2007
- February 13, 2007
- February 15, 2007
- February 17, 2007
- Prosenoder's Cup 2007
- March 16, 2007
- April 28, 2007
- morning set
- Response to an old high-school friend
- November 2, 2010
- August 11, 2011
A Jew gets to heaven after passing on and finally meets the one true, holy God; Jehovah; YHWH. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, one he has been molding with care, shining and retooling until it was perfect for this exact audience. Even his delivery is perfect. But God is not moved, he does not laugh. The Jew, for all the work that he has put into the joke, does not seem surprised or even disappointed. Instead he shrugs and says with a wink and a sad smile, "I guess you had to be there to understand".
I don't know anything outside of what is inside me
and that, too, is dim and confused.
I imagine a cloud somewhere
and that's where the answers lie.
They always lie, answers.
DejaMorgana: Oh, crap. I've just discovered an unforgiveable plot hole in Episode IX of the Land Before Time. Now it's going to annoy me every time I see or hear it (which is about three times a week).
Eco: Yes, well, this world is a vale of tears for anyone who demands strict accuracy in movies about talking dinosaurs.
dannye : Put on the DVD of Bad Santa. Turn the sound down. Put Beck's "Lost Cause" on the CD player and hit "repeat". Sit there for 103 minutes with a 9 mm on the table. See if you can make it.
Simulacron3 : I gave up on drugs when I discovered pain. Pain is the thing for those sufficiently advanced.
bipolarbear God life would be so much easier if we all spelt anaemia the same way *sigh*
Glowing Fish Yes, I've always thought, that is my definition of an easy life.
artman2003 At the top of my scratchpad is probably my first attempt here, maybe anywhere, at a sad story. I normally do humour. I want to make sure that it's not over the top, that people actually will think it's funny. Like just about the saddest story ever.
artman2003 I worry that people reading it familiar with my usual shit will sit there waiting for a punchline.
TheDeadGuy You mean, your fans?
TheDeadGuy Do you feel you've been typecast here by an unforgiving readership addicted to familiarity and opposed to fresh voices?
Jet-Poop I'll have you know slapping people like a bitch is a perfectly legitimate way to handle disputes. ;)
Simulacron3 I sat up and pushed my butt back against the headboard and looked at it for a moment. It was quiet so I asked, "Are you a ghost?"
BIII I thought I could see ghosts when I was six
Simulacron3 Turned out to be my dad in a white t-shirt.
mcd ewww, headboard-dad!
BIII I also thought I could store psychic energy in crystals and use them to contact spirits from the underworld.
Simulacron3 My dad wasn't the headboard; he was the ghost.
mcd oh but you can BIII, you can. (this msg brought to you by the underworld)
Spifficus Rex My grandpa insists that the ghost of my grandma's sister pokes him at night sometimes while he's trying to sleep, but I have never seen anything to suggest that there is a ghost in this house.
Spifficus Rex One of my aunts has a ghost hunting group. She insists that they have seen ghost activity. I don't believe in ghosts, so I really want to go with her on one of her things, but she doesn't take me. :'(
mcd She's looking out for you - do you really want to run into your grandad's hot sister-in-law out there?
Spifficus Rex My Aunt Agnes wasn't very hot in the time I knew her. Apparently she was pretty cool back in her day though and owned a bar or something.
BIII Why were you noticing how hot your aunt was?
mcd bashes head repeatedly against catbox wall
Spifficus Rex I'm comfortable mentioning that my older relatives aren't hot.
mcd tell us more about your hot relatives
BIII So you acknowledge the possibility that they could be hot and you would notice?
mcd hot like a scythe
Spifficus Rex That's awesome. I wish my grandma would teach me how to use a scythe.
Spifficus Rex My dad got remarried a couple years back. I met one of my stepsisters and thought she was quite attractive, but she is married. :V
mcd Yeah, but how are her skills with a scythe?
bluerabie careful, spifferoo - not illegal, but frowned upon...
and all is quiet...
♠ C O M E D Y ♠
I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up ♦ The Ruination of Britney Spears ♦ Plastic Jesus ♦ The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's! ♦ What the hell is Grimace, anyway? ♦ The Little Library Of Sexual Positions ♦
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey ♦ Humorous Writings of E2 ♦ A response to horse porn ♦ Super Mario Brothers: A Literary Criticism ♦ They hit each other, like fucking Christ intended! ♦ The USA has fucked up priorities ♦ This isn't a fairy tale ♦ For the love of God, I am not a homosexual!
♠ I N F O R M A T I V E ♠
5-Meo-DIPT ♦ How to Write Bad Poetry ♦ How to write lyrics ♦ Hemingway's Perfect Bloody Mary ♦ How to have an out of body experience ♦ II-V-I progression ♦ The Everything Guide to Guitar Chords ♦ Winemaking ♦ Google syntax ♦ 100 Greatest American Films ♦ 100 Best Movies You've Never Heard Of ♦ How to have an out of body experience ♦ Block Elements ♦ Paradoxes of Islamic Fundamentalism ♦ cognitive dissonance ♦ Automobile engine troubleshooting ♦ the good drug guide ♦ Craps ♦ Cookery ♦ Full text works in Everything ♦ logo design ♦ How to build a character in fiction ♦ Geek's guide to working out
♠ D A M N C O O L ♠
The end of Zen ♦ Zen morning laugh ♦ American alcoholic writer stereotype ♦ You are not special. You will die here, too. ♦ Jennifer screams ♦ HATEDOME ♦ So this one-legged man walks into a bar ♦ How To Speak Poetry ♦ You talk so much and say so little ♦ Ten reasons to believe in God ♦ The night I saw a man get his head blown off ♦ It was one of the worst things I have ever done ♦ Consumer quantum mechanics ♦ The sexuality and marital status of Jesus ♦ I know how to bring a whiskey bottle pleasure with my touch ♦ Weird sex with strange people ♦ I was a prisoner in a Mexican whorehouse ♦ How did I get here, Sarah? ♦ Lifetimes are catching up with me ♦ Fish have no concept of fire ♦ strip club ♦ We'll drink cheap wine and watch for shooting stars ♦ When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome. ♦ When you sell a cigarette for a quarter ♦ One ♦ Michael Crichton, Ted Scambos, and the Battle Against Scientific Stupidity ♦ Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen. ♦ Listen, boy. Everyone is their own kind of ninja. ♦ I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do? ♦ Immortality blows
♠ E 2 ♠
What to do if you've got too many votes on your hands ♦ Advanced Everything2 the Role Playing Game ♦ The Content Rescue Team : Nodes ♦ Noding speedometer ♦ Favorite Everything Quotes ♦ Honor Roll and you ♦ Your Nodeshells ♦ Punch Thyself ♦ Everything Document Directory ♦ April Trolls Day ♦ E2 Clique Application Form ♦ E2 FAQ: Online Community Dynamics
a poet's gun. it should be serious as lead.
a piece heavy to lift, but irresponsible, and black,
black as the syphilis on lucifer's cock.
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Holy shit! More lists!! WOOHOO!!
(List generated Tue Mar 5 01:52:17 2013 GMT by the Homenode List Generator. Goodness is the percentage of votes that are upvotes. (At least I hope it is, program that I had to rewrite to get to work at all. Not the programmer's fault necessarily, but some curl problems on the system I was running it from. Could be that the E2 server isn't accepting the same remote curl call as the program was using before.)).
5 Least Voted-Upon Writeups
1 Automated External Defibrillator
2 morning set 1C!
3 excuse the pencil but I'm inkless 2C!
4 Don Blanding 1C!
5 (tied) Yakuza, a love song
5 (tied) August 11, 2011
5 (tied) the game is up 1C!
5 Highest Goodness Writeups
4C! bated breath (tied) 1
3C! canary in a coal mine (tied) 1
3C! short shrift (tied) 1
1C! Wild goose chase (tied) 1
1C! in a pickle (tied) 1
1C! A Memory of Light (tied) 1
1C! Don Blanding (tied) 1
Automated External Defibrillator (tied) 1
5 Least Reputable Writeups
2 (tied) morning set 1C!
2 (tied) Automated External Defibrillator
4 (tied) Aliens look like aliens because they're human 3C!
4 (tied) Trailer Park 1C!
4 (tied) August 11, 2011