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I made a decision. I like plastic spoons better than metal ones. This dawned on me at 2:41am as I laid in bed eating a bowl of Coco Crispies dry. At the same time I was reminded why people are normally in a sitting, not laying, position while eating. My metal spoon is cold. My metal spoon tastes, well, metally. I don’t like the taste of silver. The taste of plastic spoons is a much milder, less noticeable taste that that of their silver counterparts. This idea got me thinking.

If plastic utensils taste better why do we use “silverware”?
Well there’s lots of reasons. Metal will not melt if you leave it in the pan too long or stick it in the microwave oven. Plastic turns into a rather grotesque puddly shape when heated up. Silver is shiny so it’s easy to find when you drop it under the table. Plastic can crack. Have you ever cut your tongue with a broken plastic utensil? Well, let me give you a heads up: Don’t. It hurts. Metal is pretty because it’s shiny. The silver utensils are more fun to beat the pots and pans with than quiet little plastic ones. The best reason of all is because they hang real nice from a person’s nose.

There are lots of reasons that plastic is better too, though. Like I said before plastic tastes better. Also it doesn’t get as cold or hot to the touch as metal does. Plastic utensils are light and won’t sink as fast when you drop them in your oatmitty. Because these are aren’t as strong as the metal ones it’s much easier to demonstrate your special super powers. Metal is expensive, plastic is a dime a dozen. They don’t hurt as much when you get smacked in the head with them. You won’t have to be embarrassed by your brother wearing a spoon on his nose. Plastic can be ANY color there is. Silver ware is always, well, silver. Plastic is a modern convenience. Metals been around forever but plastic is something humans invented. Shouldn’t we show off and be proud of our inventive abilities?

One other thing, pointed out to me by stewacide, is that metal is used over and over and plastic is usually thrown away. This didn't dawn on me because my family reuses EVERYTHING. Plastic silverware, and plastic pages, and foil and even some types of paper plates all get cleaned and used again and again until they fall completly apart.

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