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Humorous video clips, like Outlook mail viruses, inevitably start circulating around the internet. More and more internet memes are video clips - Legend of Zelda: Sing Along Fun, Irrational Exuberance amd Birth of Football, - as opposed to screensavers and animated websites.

Midnight Snack is one such clip. A home movie starring Sean Schemmel, better known as the voice of Dragonball Z star Goku, Midnight Snack is a five-minute comedy sketch that pretty much takes the piss out of martial arts movies. Fellow voice actor Val Bernhardt provides the voice of Dwip, the movie's Laurel to Sean's Hardy.

Admittedly, this transcript doesn't do it justice - the humour really demands watching the clip. If you aren't averse to using RealPlayer, it's floating around the Internet as an AVI, around 7Mb.

Sean and Dwip in Midnight Snack

A short movie starring Sean Schemmel as himself and Val Bernhardt as Dwip. Written by Sean Schemmel, Brian Brown and Val Bernhardt. Music courtesy of Napster.

Sean switches on the light and enters the kitchen dressed in a bathrobe. He opens the fridge and proceeds to take a drink of milk straight from the bottle. Dwip, a punching doll with an alien head and fake chinese accent proceeds to pummel Sean repeatedly in the back, making vague martial arts movie style noises.

Sean: Dwip, it's 3am.
Dwip: Time for your defeat.
(Sean sighs.)
Dwip: Ultimate showdown now. Ultimate showdown now.
Sean: We do this every night....
Dwip: I defeat you. We do this every night, every night I defeat you.
Sean: Dwip, I have to get up at 6am.
Dwip: I punch you in the teeth.
Sean: Can we do this, like, tomorrow?
Dwip: I punch you in the eye. I punch you in the hair. I punch you in the hair, you hair turn grey...
Sean: Dwip, do you think you're some kind of martial arts master, or something?
Dwip: Fist of Grey Hair!... I martial arts master. I study under famous martial arts master, Li Ki Dong Hi Shu Shu Baka Da Jaja, ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja...
Sean: You're not even asian, you're an alien. Okay? You don't even speak Chinese, Japanese...
Dwip: He greatest master, any time.
Sean: You're...
Dwip: I speak eve-ry-thing...
Sean: You're alien excrement, from another planet.
Dwip: ...only thing you need know, I speak defeat you. Defeat.
Sean: Okay, look. If we do this now...
Dwip: Defeat round-eye.
Sean: If we do this now, you promise me you'll go to bed?
Dwip: Defeat round-eye.
Sean: If we do this now, you promise...
Dwip: Defeat you.
Sean: (grabbing Dwip) If we do this now...
(Dwip mumbles)
Sean: ...you'll promise me you'll go to bed.
Dwip: I defeat you.
Sean: If we do this now, you promise me we'll go to bed?
Dwip: I defeat youu!!
Sean: Dwip... I'm not messing around here. You go to bed...
Dwip: Defeeet.
Sean: Dwip... This isn't funny, okay? I gotta get up, make this quick, okay?
Dwip: Why you laugh?
Sean: Because you're absolutely ridiculous, but that's not the point right now. Look, if we do this...
(Dwip starts trying to punch Sean.)
Sean: If we do this now, you'll promise me we'll go to bed.
Dwip: I will defeat you. I defeat you now.
Sean: Okay. One second.
Dwip: I defeat you... one second, one day, one year, one hundred million million days? I defeat you then, too. I punch you in the eye.
Sean: Okay.
Dwip: I punch you in the kidney.
Sean: Okay.
Dwip: I punch you so hard, your spleen ache for week.
Sean: Are you ready?
Dwip: I punch you so hard, you poop your panties.
Sean: Now, the last time you did this, what happened?
Dwip: Poo in your panties.
Sean: What happened last time we did this?
Dwip: I know you wear panties.
Sean: What happened last time we did this?
Dwip: Pantie-boy...
Sean: The lights were off, yeh, but the lights aren't off now.
Dwip: Pansy.
(Sean sighs)
Dwip: Panties.
Sean: Okay. You ready?
Dwip: I defeat you...
Sean: Ready?
Dwip: ...I defe-- I always ready to defeat you! I always ready to defeat you...
Sean: Okay, you're asking for it.
Dwip: You come at me with your best. You come at me, you defeat...
Sean: Wait, wait wait wait...
Dwip: I know. I defeat you.
Sean: We do this now, you go to bed.
Dwip: I defeat you.
Sean: Alright, here we go.
Dwip: You no need sleep, you need defeated!
Sean: On the count of three.
Dwip: You have no hair left.
Sean: One... two...
Dwip: I punch you in the head... I punch you in the...
Sean: Three! (grabs Dwip, and throws him onto the floor)
Dwip: AAAAAGH!
Sean: Go to bed.
Dwip: Aagh... agh... agh... agh...
Sean: (walking out) Go to bed, Dwip.
Dwip: ...agh... I will defeat... youuu!!!

The scene cuts to Dwip's head lying on the floor.

Dwip: Defeat... I defeat him... Some day, round-eye, some day round-eye. I... punch you in the teeth. I punch you so hard, your kidney fall out. I defeeet you. I will defeat you... I know I defeat you... I just...

(Fade to back, end credits roll up.)

I stayed up all night making the transcript. I hope you appreciate it. :)

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