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I want a negative baud modem.

This may sound silly - wouldn't that make the modem slower than it is physically possible for a modem to be?

But wait - let's say I have a hypothetical -1000 baud modem, and I want to download 1 megabyte of data: 1 megabyte = 10,000,000 bits, and 10,000,000 bits divided by -1000 bits/sec means that the file was already downloaded 1000 seconds ago.

Of course, a downside is that if I'm not constantly downloading into the past, it will start to un-download stuff, which would probably result in files being deleted from my computer.

The previous calculations assume no lag, but that wouldn't be a problem because reverse lag is very rare on the Internet. Even if the modem is lagged, it would just cause things to be downloaded even earlier.

However, if too many people start using negative baud modems, it could put so much strain on the Internet of the past that it could crash entirely, which means that this idea will never have been posted on Everything, thus creating a time paradox.

But the advantages of being able to leave myself advice from the future and download in negative time far outweigh the disadvantages of a paradox that could possibly destroy the fabric of space-time. At least to me.

Responses left over from Everything1:

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