The
Book of the Dead has the deceased recite this to the god
Osiris:
Behold, I have come to thee, and I have brought
maat (i.e.,
truth,
integrity)
to thee.
I have destroyed
sin for thee.
I have not sinned against
men.
I have not oppressed my
kinsfolk.
I have done no wrong in the
place of
truth.
I have not known
worthless folk.
I have not wrought
evil.
I have not
defrauded the
oppressed one of his
goods.
I have
not done the things that the
gods abominate.
I have not vilified a
servant to his
master.
I have not caused
pain.
I have not let any man
hunger.
I have made no one to
weep.
I have not committed
murder.
I have
not
commanded any to commit murder for me.
I have
inflicted pain on
no man.
I have not defrauded the
temples of their
oblations.
I have
not purloined the
cakes of the gods.
I have not stolen the
offerings
to the spirits (i.e., the dead).
I have not committed
fornication.
I
have not
polluted myself in the holy places of the
god of my city.
I
have not diminished from the
bushel.
I did not take from or add to the
acre-measure.
I did not
encroach on the
fields of others.
I have not
added to the
weights of the
scales.
I have not misread the
pointer of
the scales.
I have not taken
milk from the
mouths of children.
I have
not driven
cattle from their
pastures.
I have not
snared the
birds
of the gods.
I have not
caught fish with
fish of their kind.
I have
not stopped
water when it should
flow.
I have not cut the
dam of
a
canal.
I have not
extinguished a fire when it should burn.
I have
not altered the times of the chosen
meat offerings.
I have not turned
away the cattle intended for offerings.
I have not
repulsed the
god at his appearances.
I am pure.
I am
pure.
I am
pure.
I am pure....
Source: Project Gutenberg http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext04/8bkdd10.txt
For most of them, no problem, but I know I would have trouble with a few of these should I find myself in a situation calling for my own personal confession (perhaps an exchange program between adherents of the
Egyptian and
Christian creeds). "I have not caused pain." "I have made no one to weep." You mean like in my entire life? Even when I used to
teach physics?
I imagine Osiris seated on a high seat, not saying anything. Over the long millennia he has heard every attempt to
weasel out of this list of basic acts of
decency and
restraint. I don't imagine that citing the rigors of science would change his demeanor at all, not even if I could recall the
special circumstances and extenuating factors involved (he was an engineering student who had no business in engineering, she was a
pre-med with an air of
entitlement, etc.), an effort which probably would result in more fiction than fact. Perhaps the look of misery on my face would communicate to the god the difficulty we living mortal beings have in avoiding any sort of questionable action or
inaction somewhere along the way. And if the fishing one and the worthless folk one are
deal breakers, then what hope can I have?
That the merciful judge in the halls of the dead
grades on a curve, that's what.