parallel parking

For rural drivers, a skill never needed. Wal*Mart and other shopping giants pour blacktop over acres of once-farmland soil, and put all the shopping in nice little rows, like cattle at the food trough.

For urban drivers, a skill used every day, unless you use the public transportation.

Useless factoid: San Francisco has an estimated 33% fewer parking spaces than there are cars, on any given day. The only reason they sweep the streets twice a week is to make sure nobody camps their yuppie SUV for too long.

Useless factoid: Manhattan drivers need to call the garage at least an hour before they want their cars; it takes that long to untangle the valet-packed iron puzzle. It's like the Towers of Hanoi game, moving one Buick at a time.

Parallel parking is the act of parking your automobile in the same direction as other vehicles along any given roadside where parking is legal. This concept is foreign to the majority of licensed massholes in Boston. This is also irony at its best. Any masshole desiring to become a licensed driver must participate in a road examination which tests, among other things, the specific skill of parallel parking. Reason would dictate that any driver with a shiny, pretty license would be able to perform this skill, but alas, this is far from true. According to the DMV, the first step in parallel parking is to choose “…a space on the roadside that is long enough for your vehicle.” Most drivers do not even get past this step, therefore steps two through 6 become irrelevant. This makes parking and owning a vehicle in Boston quite a chore and causes much irritation. Dumbass drivers piss me off.

Here's a tip that I use all the time when parallel parking.

More often than you think, you'll be parking out the front of a shop with a big shiny window... Well, as you're backing into you're spot, look in the window at the reflection of your car and the car behind you... See what I mean! You can see exactly how close you are to the car behind ... so now you can reverse until you are a few millimeters away and then straighten up with plenty of room in front.

This is especially useful when you are driving a friends car that you are not familiar with the dimensions of.

Happy parking!

Disclaimer :
1)I didn't pass the driving test this morning, so I don't force you to believe this.
2)This is only theory. Successfully applying it needs lots of practicing.
3)I assume your drive on the right, else just flip the picture.

************************************************************************
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *                 *  +++++++++++++  *
*  +F        R + *  +           +  *                 *  +           +  *
*  +R        EA+ *  +           +  *     PARK HERE   *  +           +  *
*  +T        R + *  +           +  *                 *  +           +  *
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *                 *  +++++++++++++  *
*                *                 *                 *                 *
************************************************************************
         +++++++++++++        \
         +F        R +  -------
         +R        EA+        /
         +T        R +   this way
         +++++++++++++

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   





************************************************************************

Step 1 -First, stop yourself in position A. Then start driving in reverse, as slow as possible. For people with a manual transmission, you should give no gas, nor brake, only play with the clutch.

************************************************************************
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *                 *  +++++++++++++  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *                 *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *     PARK HERE   *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *                 *  +           +  *
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *                 *  +++++++++++++  *
*                *                 *                 *                 *
************************************************************************
                    +++++++++++++     _ 
                    +           +     /|
                    +    A      +   turn right,     
                    +           +   as far as wheel
                    +++++++++++++   allows

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   





************************************************************************

Step 2 -When your reach the point where your bumper and the right hand car are at the same level, turn the steering wheel as far as your can to the right, without stopping.

************************************************************************
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *           Turn  *  +++++++++++++  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *       +   Back  *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *      + +  Left  *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *     +    +  \   *  +           +  *
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *   +       +  \| *  +++++++++++++  *
*                *                 *  +         +    *                 *
************************************* +        +************************
                                       +     +
                                         +  +
                                          + 



***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   





************************************************************************

Step 3 -When you have reached the point where your car is 45 degrees to the road, Still without changing the speed, turn the steering wheel to the left, as far as you can.

*************************************************+**********************
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *  _        ++ +  *  +++++++++++++  *
*  +           + *  +           +  * |\     ++     + *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *     ++         +*  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  * Back+          ++  +           +  *
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *to the+      ++  *  +++++++++++++  *
*                *                 * right +  ++     *                 *
********************************************+***************************
                                            
                                            
                                           



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************************************************************************

Step 4-When you have reached the back of the now no longer free parking place, you can stop the car, and go back to forward, or for the manual people to first speed. Turn again to the far right, to put the car parallel, as the node title implies.

************************************************************************
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *++++++++++++     *  +++++++++++++  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *+          +   \ *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *+          + --- *  +           +  *
*  +           + *  +           +  *+          +   / *  +           +  *
*  +++++++++++++ *  +++++++++++++  *++++++++++++     *  +++++++++++++  *
*                *                 *                 *                 *
************************************************************************
                                            
                                            
                                           



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************************************************************************

Step 5- Once parallel and in the front of the parking place, put the wheels parallel again and go backwards to the middle of the place. to give room to both neighbouring cars.

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For those who need to park in their local department store, see also angle parking.