Christmas 2010. I'm in town visiting family, coming from one of the southern states where I live now. Business as usual - a few days hanging out and catching up on news from relatives.
But just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean I'm giving up my morning routine! Hell no! It's 6am and my feet are itching. Time for my walk. I'm the only one who does this, and everyone is still sleeping. So I grab my backpack, laptop and papers and get ready to head out. I want to get a few things done before the day starts, since family visits seem to be a full-time jobs, even if only temporary assignments. Yes, my family has a reliable ISP and wireless router, but they can be distracting. If I'm in range of the router, they're in range for conversation too. These overlapping signals aren't helpful for focusing on work or relaxing. I know someplace around town will be open with WIFI even on this holiday morning - maybe a Starbucks, donut shop or one of the many coffee houses.
Wait a minute, something is stirring in the house. It's my dad, up for a drink of water and his morning pills.
"Hey dad."
In a whisper as not to wake the others, he answers. "Hi. Whatcha doing up so early?"
"Getting ready for a walk. I'm headed out to see the neighborhood and get a few things done."
"Ohhhh. OK. Do you need a car?"
"No thanks. I'm fine walking."
"You sure? I can drive you wherever you want to go and pick you up later."
"No thanks, my feet will take me. I like to start the day with a walk."
"Are your shoes warm enough? It's cold outside."
"They're good, I'm used to this."
"How about your coat? Is it warm enough too?"
"YES!" relax!" I shout-whisper in response. He continues on, offering to drive me to my destination at least four times while I continue declining his offers. It's like that when I visit. While I don't say anything about it, I know that he's just trying to distract me and burn my time. Our muted debate continues until I cut him off and start moving towards the door. I leave to enjoy my walk and enjoy my order of black coffee, WIFI and peace & quiet.
The next morning, I plan ahead and leave at a different time to avoid a repeat of the last morning's debate. However, our schedules do overlap a bit. He's leaving for work now and won't see me again for a while. So he offers a hug in leaving, our tradition when parting ways. I know what's coming . . .
OOOOOF! The pat-down bear hug!
Imagine a mix between a bear hug and pat-down. The bear hug embraces the other person with maximum force, somewhere around the chest or waist. Arms squeeze and hold, contracting like a vise. His arms find their place and squeeze. The bear hug seeks to give maximum contact between the hugger and other person. They're given between family and intimate friends. Usually, the bear hug is a single event, with only a single, forceful squeeze.
In contrast, a security pat-down contacts the other person gently with just enough force to detect items concealed under clothing. Since this physical contact is between total strangers, sensitivity is critical. The searcher contacts the other person many times, to search their entire person for contraband.
Now put these ideas together - multiple strong embraces around different parts of me! Let me explain. I've been skinny for years, but this seems to be a new issue with my family each time we meet. I must be out of place in Wisconsin, where the rust-belt has turned into a beer-belly. Whenever my dad hugs, I can expect one of these. It seems to reassure him that I still occupy physical space, even if the displaced volume is less than he would like.
Most travelers can expect at least two searches, if they have direct flights - once on departure from home, and again on departing from their vacation spot. I expect three, two from TSA agents and one from "agent dad." It's one of those cute but aggravating family quirks. In the back of my mind I imagine "what the hell was that? Did dad just frisk me? Even the airport security guard was more sensitive than my father! Someone needs to talk to his supervisor . . ." But I can't complain too much. Full-body scans bombard sensitive DNA with damaging x-rays. I've heard good things about hugs though.