Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "people who spill their guts on the Internet, but can't talk to a friend about simple problems"

• What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
• People who carp about their jobs
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• Reading ahead in comic calendars
• Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• people got a lot of ideas about who i am
• The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
• Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• Lincoln advises a friend who is nervous about marriage, January 30, 1842
• Capitalize, please
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• The friend who knows a lot about computers
• sometimes i wonder about people who snap at strangers
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• Dead links in writeups
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people who no longer want you in their lives
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• People who don't capitalize their I's
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Flaunting your sexuality
• When you can't talk about what your sexual needs are
• The bored who complain
• You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• Find someone who dreams about people like you
• If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
• Know your pets
• On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
• Things people put up their butts
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• Let's Talk About Feelings
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• most people don't know what they're talking about anyway
• Talk to your dermatologist about...
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.
• A man who is about to become a wizard is a great source of trouble
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• Dystopic Boundaries - a study in whining about first-world problems
• Can We Talk About This?
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• It did not but, I think.. it will spill hope
• A person is smart, but people are dumb, panicky animals
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• Your heart may be broken, but the world still rotates my dear friend
• I call, but I never talk. I knock, but I never enter. I feel a bit insecure.
• Boston sports fans and their teams: A brief but angsty perspective
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• What I talk about when I talk about running
• George Bush doesn't care about black people
• Fifteen words about butt kicking
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• The thing to understand about trans people
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• This story about a misanthropist is not about who you think it is about
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• But you can't take the Jungle out of the Tiger
• Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever
• I note that she is pretty, but we are off into the city, my werewolf friend and I
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• The fire behind their eyes died slowly and silently until nothing but the shells remained
• Friends and lovers, but sometimes just lovers
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• We don't talk about those sorts of things
• The music in my head is too loud to think about anything but you
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• I always liked the breasts that talked about existentialism.
• I still can't think of anything about Fight Club that changed my life
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• Sorry about my friend
• there must be something positive about this; I just can't think of it at the moment
• For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• people are lazy about explanations so they make rules
• For when you and your shiftless friends are thinking about seeing a movie
• we are built to hold on, but the world is about letting go
• We talk about the importance of a good handshake.
• You can run, but you can't hide
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• You sad cookie, you CARE more about filthy rich pretty people you'll never meet
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• We enjoy a quiet but satisfying yuletide until people from the social services come to release us
• You are nothing but the sum of your friends
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• Don't talk about your mamma like that
• Maybe it's bad manners, but you still can't buy my baby
• But who nodes the noders?
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• What We Talk about When We Talk About Love
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• never talk to a Brit about America's involvement in World War II
• General sexuality newsgroup
• How to drive a friend mad, and still feel good about yourself
• Things a Computer Scientist Rarely Talks About
• Everyone Thinks the Best about Their Own Children
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address
• A poem about my tragic friend
• Talk about the weather
• It's too early to talk about God, or women
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you
• A joke about dealing with people
• I knew about the kissing problem before I said Yes.
• Let's talk about the end of the world as we know it
• Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
• So why talk about politics now
• what we talk about when we talk about Punk
• Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody
• Talk About the Passion
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• At what age should you talk to your kids about drugs?
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• When to talk about religion
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• i dream about the ones who are gone
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about certain things for reasons that you may find difficult to understand
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• But What About the Property Damage?
• small intimate talk about nothing
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• what's the point of having other peoples' thoughts about something?
• But who codes the coders?
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The Umbrella Academy is about damaged people
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• Game Jams but about words (e2poll)
• he knew that victory is not about who is standing after the fight
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• Can't nothin' fail but a try
• My 486 almost runs Debian now, but I can't play Doom!
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which

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