roadie's screwdriver

If something (or someone) needs fixing, and all else has failed, it is common practice for a roadie to administer a good hard and fast swift kick to the damned thing. This works on everything from expensive amplifiers to the bouncer who won't let you back in cuz you misplaced your pass.

Here's how to use it in a sentence:
"We're not roadies, man! We're professional auxiliarly musician assistants!"
Sure. This week.
"Stop callin' us roadies! You call me a roadie one more time and I'll give you a-- a.."
Roadie's Screwdriver?
"Shut up!"