I did recover in time from my
obsession with Jake but I still needed a man in my life to be a full person. I discovered that if I found a man who responded to my ever present
sexuality that life could be good. I did not, however, have to have sex with him. So I spent the rest of my life looking for men who would love me and could focus on the
friendship part of love.
The best arena for finding such men was in the Tartan 27 Association. After the great insight I found with the rainbow I deliberately looked around. Although I did not tell anyone about my Poplar Island Fantasia I did tell Jonah that I wanted to take the boat out by myself to learn to handle it. He was on a project at work at that time that took him out in the field to teach garbage collectors how to cook their garbage. It was an important project because it did get rid of a serious disease affecting pigs. He was allowed to return home for each weekend, but he was glad to let me go out on Tuesdays and return on Wednesdays.
That opened the gate for me to find a he-man complement. I just naturally fell in with a Tartan sailor whose boat was slipped next to ours in the marina where we kept our boat. He was living on his boat while he was getting a divorce from his wife. His family lived in a town in Virginia but he worked in Annapolis. He had three children, a girl and two boys. The oldest was a girl who did not come out to the boat. The older boy could drive and the boys loved the boat. I enjoyed the children a lot and often did things with the boys. Most of my fun, however, was in the evenings when John and I sat side-by-side on our own boat and carried on brilliant conversation.
John was a red-headed Irishman and lived life to its fullest. He was famous in the Tartan Association because he took a “lady” sailing while he hunted skates with a bow and arrow. His boat was named “Id", a fitting title. He accidently achieved the name. One of the requirements of the contract for purchasing the boat was that he change the name of the boat. He scraped off the “f.” the first letter. Then he scraped off the last letter which was “o.” When he stood back to look at it he was amazed to discover that he had named his boat!
John participated regularly with the races and the cruises taken by the Tartan Association. With a little managing on both our parts we often managed to slip our boats side by side on the raft ups.
One of the major activities of the Tartan Association was to race in the overnight race from Annapolis to Saint Mary’s (which is the original state Capital). We started at eight o’clock in the evening and raced all night to finish sometime before noon at Saint Mary’s. We could not join the race this year because Jonah would be away cooking garbage. I got the bright idea that I could crew for John. I offered to do that and he explained to me that he would not be coming back. He was taking the boys with him and they would be going on down the Bay for his vacation after the race was over.
Not to be deterred, I asked around the Association and found a boat that would use me as crew on the way back to Annapolis. They were going to participate in another race. When I explained this to John, he agreed to use me as crew on the way down. I was delighted. The social activities after the race were extensive and would be lots of fun as well as the night race going down.
The day of the race I got in a traffic snarl on the way out to the boat and did not arrive until almost time to leave for Annapolis. I rushed down the dock with my knapsack ready to jump on Id. As I looked up I saw the “lady” already aboard. I should have said, “You don’t need me!” and turned away. I was too naïve to do anything but climb aboard and find a spot as far away as possible from her.
John greeted me, started the motor and ordered his sons to throw off the mooring lines. He backed out of the slip and headed for Annapolis. I went up to the forward deck, sat down with the hatch to support my back, and stayed there all the way to Annapolis. The boys came up to greet me, expecting to find some snacks. Of course I had some. I gave my knapsack to them and asked them to stow the clothes below after removing the snacks.
The start of the race at Annapolis is always a very exciting time. Hundreds of sail boats are milling around trying not to crash into each other. There were about a dozen starting classes. The Tartans had their own start. We were pretty far down the list for our start and we needed all the skill we had to keep our boat from crashing into others. In the process we counted our fellow Tartans finding twenty two competitors.
John handled the helm until we got off to a fair start and headed down the Bay. Then he turned the helm over to his older son and settled down in the corner seat of the cockpit with his back on the cabin. His “lady” joined him, sitting on his lap. They smooched all the way down.
Fortunately I was able to stay away from the cockpit. We were heading into the wind. The boat heeled and we needed to use crew for ballast. So I spent the night putting my weight on the high side and moving from one side of the boat to the other as we came about. I have never been as angry in my life. Every time I moved from one side of the boat to the other, the anger grew until it finally turned into the scream. As the scream grew louder it took me back to the time I first heard it. Jonas was with me then and now he is gone. How can I bear life?
The scream stayed with me throughout the night, serving as a backdrop for the anger that steadily increased. It was almost dawn as we rounded Point Lookout and entered the Potomac River.
Sailboats all around us reminded us that we were in a race. With the change of direction we no longer needed ballast and I made my way back to the cockpit.
Fortunately the “lady,” rolling in smooch, had gone below to rest up for the next rendevous.
When we reached St. Mary’s River it was full day light and we tried to locate the other Tartans to judge our position in the race. We saw enough Tartans ahead to know we had no chance to place, but we continued to do the best we could.
Jerry, John’s elder son, was at the helm. He surrendered it to me and I stood to get a better view as we moved along.
My anger was seething to the point where I had to do something. With absolutely no planning and no intention I spoke.
“I’m going to single hand Aquarius down the Waterway to the Gulf of Mexico this fall!” I exclaimed.
It was like I dropped a bomb on the boat. Both John and Jerry were suddenly awake, excited and full of questions. I made up answers as rapidly as possible, surprised and pleased that I was having some revenge.
We finished the race and headed in to the Bay where all the boats were anchoring for the party celebrations planned for the evening. I wanted nothing but to get off the boat before the “lady” came up from her nap. As soon as the anchor was holding I asked Jerry to take me ashore in their dinghy so I could freshen up with a shower. I took all my things with me so I would not have to return to the boat. I was still so angry that I was almost shaking, but the butterflies were gone.
This series begins with Scream of the Butterfly.
Next: Scream of the Butterfly 6.