Are you ok?
Yeah, I am. Yeah, I will be. Don’t worry about me, don’t think about me, don’t doubt a second of your life. Breathe tomorrow, like I taught you tonight. And when you get that feeling, slide, slide, slide so mad you can’t hide anymore. Change everything you ever did and thought was familiar. Become me.
I am ok without you. I just tell myself otherwise.
And in the background, Say What You Want with Texas playing constantly. Rewind me, rewind us. Tell me why this happened now, and not before. And why not in some fortunate corner or nook, crashing into another.
You never know the answers to my questions. Not because you do not want to comply. When I am gone, I know for sure that you sit in the back of your mind peeling apart the sheets, daring into shadows. You have known terrible rage, known how to decay. I tell you I cry all the time; you’d wish you could just this once. I tell you the worth of my bones' emptiness, their pristine hunger for life; you say I know things about you, like a predator, within the blink of a moment.
You know my reasons, you wish you had yours.
I wish you’d whisper them into my skin.
Breathe. Gasp. Sigh.
I fall asleep to the music, to the droning of nothing here in my world without you. Every day, I tell you all the things I have saved up for someone to savour. You taste my words, but your inner has run dry, has no touch for this pleasure.
It’s spoken knowingly between our hands; I fully understand your incompatibility with life. What if I were to look into your eyes as you tell me again that your ways are useless, though you are not. How would they come to understand if I told them about your innocence, the slight laughter of a heart that can never be fully broken?
Whisper into my skin.
I’m ok when you’re near, thank you.