The Complaint Node

This is something I'd like to start. Rather than complaining about problems you have in the chatterbox or daylogs, people can post complaints here in one central location where others can read your problems and decide that hey, my problems aren't so bad after all. Feel free to post here with your most wretched things in your life, and update it whenever you feel like it.

Remember, nothing gets you XP like sympathy votes. I'll start you off:

• I have no money.
• My van is in the shop, maybe forever.
• I got a brand new MP3 Player; the kind that you put CDRs in. Unfortunatly my burner, a Smart and Friendly CD Speedwriter Pro or somesuch is a piece of crap and doesn't want to burn CDs that are acceptable to the player.
• Linux is crrap, it just randomly reboots, and then it takes over two hours to load back into X. This happens no matter how often I reinstall it, with every distro I've tried (Redhat, Debian, and Mandrake). Windows 98 works just fine, though; but I'm much too leet to use that. I can't fix it because noone I know knows Linux, and there's no LUG here in the sticks.
• I can't find the install CD for Adobe Photoshop 5.5 so I can't upgrade to 6.0. ^{Gimp is not an option. Shut up.}
• My internet connection is REALLY FREAKING SLOW. 33.6, if I'm lucky. We won't have DSL out here for years.
• I have a $17.00 late fine from Family Video because I forgot to return The Princess Bride before going on vacation. See the first point.
• I keep seeing the little thing in the Epicenter nodelet coaxing me to write 34 more writeups until level 10!, even though I don't want to NFN, it's asking me to! GAAAAAHHHHZXLCZKC
• There's something wrong with my monitor which causes it to randomly lose one of the three colors, making the screen suddenly turn brain numbingly yellow or painfully purple.
• Every time I tell someone that I've got the above problem with my monitor, they say something to the effect of "Oh, it's probably something with the cord. Check the cord. I bet there's a short in it." I'M NOT THAT DUMB! I'VE REPLACED THE CORD! I'VE REPLACED THE VIDEO CARD! IT HAS BEEN VERIFIED BY AN EXPERT THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE TUBE ITSELF! I COULD BUY A NEW MONITOR EXCEPT I'M POOR!
• I dropped my kind of brand spankin' new TI-86, and now the first 13 columns on the LCD screen are dead. It'll cost $60.00 to fix. See the first point.
• Some of my best writeups are sitting around the database with Rep 1. I can't bring attention to them because it would be nodevertising.
• I've got this place on one of my molars where it hurts like MAD if anything touches it, but my dentist says there's nothing wrong with it. I've tried everything, Sensodyne, that tooth numbing stuff, but it doesn't work.
• MY BACK HURTS FROM SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER 18 HOURS A DAY. SAME WITH MY EYES. But I can't stop...
• I look at my user search page, and I see that a good number of them are chung, and I think, "Oh, I'm a pretty good writer. I've got some pretty high repping writeups, several nodes that I started have been editor cooled, I've got decent node-fu. Heck, it says right here that I'm one of everything's best users." I feel happy for a few minutes, and then I see an absolutly outstanding writeup by someone I've never heard of, and I do a user search on them, and every single node they've written has a little C! by it, and they have a WU/XP of like 12/963. Then I cry for days.
• This writeups was downvoted in less time than it takes to read it.
• My parents are CRAZY, I know everyone says that, but it's really true for me. My dad, for instance, has figured out how to do a user search on my account, and he reads every writeup I do, and then asks me "Did you really fall asleep in the library and miss C++ class? Maybe you should get more sleep." Even though it REALLY HAPPENED he doesn't need to know about it. (that's why I can't write about those drug-induced crime sprees or drunkan orgies. Hi dad. update: see dad, please stop doing user searches on me. And my mom is afraid of this place, she thinks that one of you people will pull up in front of the house someday and kidnap me.
• I put together some old computer parts for my brother to use as a word processor so he didn't have to keep tying up my computer, but now I have to do tech support for it all the time. "The network is down? IS THE CORD PLUGGED IN?!?! NO IT ISN'T! HOW CAN I TELL? BECAUSE THE HUB LIGHT ISN'T ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• My voicemail can either say "Hi, it's Evan" or "Hi, it's anotherone." Either my friends will wonder who this anotherone guy is, or callers to voices of everythingians¹ will wonder "who is this Evan guy?"
• I just ate the last altoid.
• I wish I had a better username than anotherone, it sounds like I'm trying to be some sort of scary goth freak² when I was really just being a smart aleck when the create a new user thing told me username is taken, please try another one. I never expected to be around this long.
• All of the people I've tried to introduce to E2 have fled. Even The Noder Known Only as a , left because he "only could think of 25 things to write." He gave me his password once he left, and I've thought about switching to his much cooler username many, many times.
• This node will either
  1. get downvoted through the floor,
  2. get ignored,
  3. turn into a hugely popular GTKYN, and an alternitive to bowling for votes which will eventually get killed in an orgy of blood and hate.

A'ight, time to add your own problems.
But most importantly, have fun!