There are days when I think

what if you had lived and

whole scenes enfold with

you as the main character

The problem is no one else

can see or hear you

and if I move too quickly

or pause, you disappear

into the passing clouds

into the shade patterns

of a red maple you planted

but that was moons ago

I mean the same moon just phases

back when we disagreed

about the dumbest things like

how far apart seeds should be

what color to paint inside or out

you never wanted anything to change

beige to orange, white to green

the yellow ceiling and walls

of the kitchen, the last

thing you painted with anger, aubergine

using a new ladder because

the old one was no longer safe

We can buy fireworks now

at the grocery store and

our boys built a fire for

marshmallows, for huddling on cool nights

You flickered by the broken gate

but I stayed silent, lighting

a few sparklers, writing

your name and mine connected

You left unceremoniously but

returned after midnight in a dream

so cold and confused, confined in

a place I could scarcely reach

nodeshell courtesy of Auspice


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