I
The Young Man sat on the chair in the library. He felt the same
"dullness" inside, which had been chasing him from time to time. He was
supposed to focus on his study, but he couldn't find anything worth
studying for he had done all the required readings and attented all the
lectures as he could. It is the same unexplicable feeling of emptiness,
mixed with uncertainty and anxiety that had been chasing him...
Days had passed with this feeling. He could think of some solutions.
Like reading, going out, making music. But he wouldn't feel secure doing
things unrelated to his study. Not at this time! But yet, he couldn't
find anything to study either! Perhaps this paradoxical situation of
inner conflict, is going to be solved after the exams, he thought.
What else could cause this feeling of dullness? It is perhaps the
"eyes", The Young Man thought. The eyes of others. The eyes that watch,
wonder, study, expect; eyes that wants to gaze with his own eyes; eyes
that are shiny, wonderous, cute or demanding... It is the magic of the
eye that leaves him stoned as if it was a medusa gaze. Then the random
headaches, sneezes, a bleeding nose. Not to mention the irrelevant voice
to be found in the library. "What exactly is the problem with those
people? Does everyone has to move from one place to another, play with
the pens all the time, chat and screw around?"
A disturbing reality about the library was that, everybody had been
distracted. No exceptions!