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So, you're sick and fscking tired of popping pharmaseuticals trying to catch those elusive z's? Well, here's a recipe that has been passed down from my best friend to me, and now I am here to share it with you.

You will need:
1 teabag each of:

  • sleepytime extra
  • tension tamer
  • raspberry
  • straight chamomile
  • straight peppermint
  • a few teaspoons of honey
  • a mug
  • a teapot or microwave

Place all of the teabags in water, and boil. If the water is boiling when it hits the teabags, let stand for 10-15 minutes. Be sure to remove the peppermint only teabag a few minutes into the steeping, as peppermint alone will be enough to make this tea unpleasant. Once that time is up, remove the bags, add honey or sugar to taste, sit back, put on some comfy music, sip and enjoy.
I should point out, as a CYA move, that you should not use herbals without first talking to your healthcare provider if you have any condition that may require medicine or treatment that could be interfered with by herbs.

For clarification:
Sleepytime extra and Tension Tamer tea are two products by Celestial Seasonings.

Their main ingredients are:

Tension Tamer: cinnamon, peppermint and lemon peel.

Sleepytime Tea: spearmint, chamomile, catnip and valerian.

Sweet dreams.

The Real Ultimate Herbal Valium

Starsong's recipe is as bland as American cheese and wouldn't sedate a koala. For dirty unwashed hippies with long hair and patchouli fragrance that are in the know, there's a more sedating recipe. I used to buy the ingredients from a seedy old immigrant herbal dealer in Ann Arbor. He told me that herbs were more effective than pharmaceutical medicines because herbs have consciousness (think of mandrake in the movie Pan's Labyrinth). Maybe. Anyway, the ingredients:

There are no ratios. Experiment. You will want to use the Kava Kava with a heavy hand, though. Most of these ingredients can be bought at almost any herbal shop, not just from seedy old immigrant herbal dealers in Ann Arbor, although the eccentricities indigenous to that particular type of herbal dealer are particularly charming. Now, put the herbs in a cheese cloth or a large tea strainer and boil it in a teapot for 20 minutes. Then, drink it. It will taste earthy, very earthy. The weak-willed will turn pale at the first sip and run to the comfort of a bland supermarket quality tea. It will not give you warm fuzzy feelings in the pit of your stomach like Celestial Seasoning teas will. However, you will be sedated, and wasn't that the point?

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