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I leaned toward you so my hair fell around your face...
"you look funny with my hair".
"you look funny with your hair", you said, then laughed and kissed me.

That night I had a strange & beautiful dream and wanted so badly to wake you so I could share it. Sitting up in bed, I looked down on your face and knew it would be wrong to break your slumber. I kissed your eyes, your cheeks and each of your lips. 'It will keep', I thought and putting my head back on your chest, fell asleep to your heartbeat. In those last moments before sleep took me, I knew that I loved you.

Dear James,


I miss you.
I've been counting the days
since we last talked.
It was before then end of February
now it's the end of March.
I know it could be worse;
It could be another six-monther.
But I didn't think you loved me then
so it was okay.
But you do.
You've forgiven me,
I still don't know why,
but you did.

You are my book of grandeur;
pages unseen that I'm dying to look at,
but that are glued together.
At first they seemed to be glued together
through and through
With the stickiest of super glue,
but now it seems that only the edges are sealed.
I've cracked you.
I've pried off the cover and read page one.
It's like a five year old
reading a book
that only a handful of people in the world
can comprehend
and understanding it.

But don't get me wrong,
you intimidate me.
You make my insides soft
And my words careful.

And you hold your words careful
Careful not to get us in trouble
Again.
Though it was my fault.
But I understand.
It wouldn't be best for us
If we were caught
Again.
But only two more years
And we can be together
Again.
Again and for the last time
Because I do not plan on leaving you
for anything.
Though I haven't been the greatest
and neither have you.
We can be flawed together.

And you make me shine.
On my worst of days,
I'm gorgeous to you.
You make my beauty
emanate
when I thought it never could.
I don't need to be your skinny-mini,
I'm perfect left alone.
I'm perfect.
I'm your little, perfect, beautiful girl.
You love me.
And I love you.
And I miss you.
Please come back soon.

Sincerely,
Sydney.

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