And
we have discussed this, it is what I planned, but
still. I want to wait until it's sure, I want to
make
sure it ends for real. I will not step out until
I am
certain I will drown, I will not step away until there
is no way to turn back,
nothing less than reality will
do, nothing less than what's for taking. It flows and
the current is dragging me under before I step in,
sheer force and
seamless movement take my eyes and
pull me down.
We have tested these waters with our
toes and we have talked, one day it will melt and that
is when I leave, this we have said, this we have decided,
this is the way of all life. I have tried to ignore
the trickles, although I am the one who saw them first
and told you, look, see? It's starting, soon, soon
and breathless I watch the trickle moving faster
and taking me further. I thought to change my mind and
stay on the shore, Should I stay on shore in the end?
but I will step like I have said, thin plate glass
crack-crazy-crash splashing and cold and cold and
a current and cold.
The water moves beneath the
ice, now is almost time, and yes; I still remember why and when and how on earth I thought this was best and still I know that when it can no longer support the weight of us you will step away and I will step forward. I will step forward but suddenly I am afraid of cold and wet, the water moves and it's almost time but still, stop wait .