Findings:

• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night.
• So long Arthur Miller! Who do I have to look up to now?
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• Type A blood
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• The ironic fate of Terry Gilliam, the man who should not have left La Mancha
• Advantages an invisible man would have in the world
• All the terrible disadvantages an invisible man would have in the world
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• If I had the money I would get lost. God knows I have the time.
• I love you so much that I have to break up with you
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• war trophies for people who have never been to war
• We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• If Gore Had Won (A cautionary tale)
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• Karl Marx must have had a lousy job
• two guys who have killed scores of imaginary people
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• His socks do not have a smell, which is so courteous.
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• I have had enough of Survivor
• Rampant mass consumerism is so evil. Hey, can I have a sip of that Frappucino?
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• What pornos would have us believe
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• People who have stared into the abyss know each other.
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• Nodes your Grandma would have liked
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• the slightest movements which I make have begun to squeeze pure blood from my kidneys again
• a man who had fallen among thieves
• old computers have a hunger for flesh
• The "How many partners have you had" question
• I would like to have emotions
• Lady Evolution, why have you wronged me so?
• If you were team captain in a pick-up game of baseball and had Jesus Christ on your team, what position would you play him?
• Would ye have a young Virgin of fifteen Years
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• I have too much to say
• American politicians who have studied abroad
• So you don't have to
• I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• To anyone who this may have hurt, please forgive me. The darkness keeps calling and I must go.
• Would you rather have a matrimony profile?
• Why the ancient Babylonians would have loved high definition television
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
• I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
• you have an obligation to those who are gone
• for so many lifetimes i have sought what i now have
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• Actors who have portrayed the parent(s) of a character portrayed by Ben Stiller
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• i am looking for Morpheus. have you seen him?
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• A thought that may have passed in the mind of the busboy at the cafe where I often find myself
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• What kind of year have YOU had?
• Questions I have had today
• So what if your radical ideas have already occurred to others
• Who needs genetic cloning when we have The Gap?
• I never thought I'd have something to say
• If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
• Celebrities who have appeared at Carnegie Mellon University
• How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• I will have your blood. I will have all of your blood.
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• I have lost many things, so many
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• For White Girls Who Have Considered Afro Hair Products/When the Conditioner is Enuf
• Using a command line
• Those who have abandoned their dreams will discourage yours
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• Man's desire to blow shit up, and to have a nice attache case
• So this is Christmas. And what have you done?
• You have much to learn, Grasshopper
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• A reminder to drivers who do not have cruise control
• I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• God exists and I have him trapped in a box in my basement
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• he would have cried
• Overgrowth (for those who have loved the emotionally disturbed)
• some people are so poor, all they have is money
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• he would have laughed
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• "Why, oh why do I have so many innocuous crosses to bear?"
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• Wedding invitations for people who have been divorced for years
• i hope there are those in this world who know what a gift it is to have anyone that knows the whole of their heart
• there are people in the world who love you, and they will see that this suffering will not have happened in vain
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• If only I'd thought of the right words, I could have held on to your heart
• i cannot ever have you, not even in thoughts.
• i have been burning for so long
• Bernie would have won
• New zombies have been animated to replace the old
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• Why couldn't it have been an action picture that had just started?
• I had not thought death had undone so many
• Scientists who have genetically designed their children for superior 'fros
• Professors who have contempt for their students
• Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems?
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
• You have had sex with all the people your partner has had sex with
• Robots have a lot of places to hide blood
• Don Quixote had his windmills, I have my helicopters
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• If you had swerved a little to the right, you'd have missed it
• Why have you shot him for pounding a corn hat?
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• you would have been
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• Have you ever made a just man?
• if you have had your midnights
• You stole what they would have given you
• If we catapulted outlaws, only pawn shops would have guns
• We have had enough of your beige
• A list of things kids should and should not have from a woman who has no kids
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• You Should Never Have Asked Him About His Job!
• Things that have never been said in the entire history of man
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• I guess that I am the one who has changed
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• We know we have fallen because we know who we are
• Know your pets
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• She had never kissed someone so old.
• I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.
• Why black women have so few wrinkles
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• Actors who have played Hitler
• I might have expected that the mushrooms would worship you
• Have fun torturing your fellow man
• People who think they have to double-click everything
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• I used to have so many dreams
• Lefties who have no sense of humour
• Actors who have played Bruce Wayne / Batman
• Once you have tasted flight: In defense of manned space travel
• You have far too much time on your hands
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• Have you ever thought
• To a beautiful woman who can't have ketchup
• No man could have the power that is yours and not know it
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

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