Hi Saddam,

You don't know me, but I have a friend who recently sent you a letter and I didn't want you to get the false impression that he represented any significant number of the American People.  Frankly I hope you are already dead and that your cruel and brutal totalitarian dictatorship has already come to an end by the time you receive this.  But in the off-chance that you are huddled like a cockroach in some dark cave while your people bear the brunt of the war you brought upon them, perhaps this will give you something to think about.

My friend is wringing his soft white hands and moaning at the fact that he hates his own society so much that he feels he must support you despite all the truly heinous acts that he knows you are guilty of.  Please don't read too much into this, it's just the garden variety self loathing of a pampered liberal child who has never experienced first hand anything like the kind of banal evil that you, your sociopathic sons and the self-serving thugs that support your reign of terror.  He's been raised to believe that he's the crown of creation by proud parents and teachers who have supported his every whim and fancy. He is the product of a liberal college where political correctness has replaced open and honest inquiry.  He's more clever than intelligent and more glib than educated.

Don't be confused by this, Saddam.  My friend would be horrified at the reality of your tactics, terrified by your brutality and disgusted at the shallowness of your petty lust for power.  He just doesn't have a clue because his limited experience with people like you has been over the television, which he mistakes for reality.  He's really upset because he's discovered that America has made some mistakes over the years, including supporting vicious monsters like you on occasion.  Some of the things he thinks he knows are partially true, but he doesn't have any perspective that would allow him to differentiate between the inevitable missteps made by a superpower and the calculated regime of repression, torture and attempted genocide that you've indulged in.  

He can't differentiate between these things in part through ignorance and in part because he's just caught up in the excitement of the current antiwar protests.  He inexplicitly claims that it's a matter of taste whether the Kurds are massacred using chemical warfare by you, or suffer defeat in battle with the Turks.  Keep in mind that he can't see much difference between your invasion of Kuwait, and Gibraltar either, so you know that his grasp of history isn't all that impressive. 

He's also upset that you have been accused of building Weapons of Mass Destruction, and he's pretty sure that this just isn't, couldn't be, true.  It doesn't matter to him that even the polite and courteous UNMOVIC inspectors found a bunch of missiles that you lied about, and a few chemical warheads that you hadn't filled yet but weren't supposed to have. Or that your Republican Guard troops are all equipped with chemical warfare gear.  Hey, he only believes what he wants to believe and it's going to come as a rude shock when the dust settles and "Chemical Ali" saves his own skin by ratting you out during his war crimes trial at The Hague.

He doesn't think you are much of a threat.  I guess he means that he doesn't think you are a threat to him, because most everyone knows that you have been and are a pretty serious threat to your people and your neighbors.  It's pretty typical of young American liberals that repression of people he doesn't know don't matter much until his favorite rock star or actor takes up the cause.

He says he's in an awkward position because he'd like to hate you, but America and George Bush and Tony Blair and globalization are so much worse that he's in a real quandary.  He'd like to support "your downfall and doom," but what with all those education awards other benevolent humanitarian gestures you're famous for, he's really truly deeply conflicted so he's decided to offer you his astute advice on military tactics instead of condemning you.. 

Once you stop laughing, at my gullible friend, I'll remind you that the majority of Americans support this war, and we support our troops and this time you are going down.  The world will be a better place without you.  No one will mourn your passage and the Iraqi people will have hope for the future again.  Unlike my conflicted friend, I wish you a speedy demise. 

You are an evil man and you don't deserve anyone's support.  Someday perhaps my friend will realize that.