I guess I'm under some emotional stress...

I was at the gazebo at RHS, and the usual lovely insanity was taking place. And once again I stood alone in the middle of this, shy and quiet.

Someone came up to me and tapped my "commie hat" (a baseball hat with a red star I had airburshed on it). This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I was fed up with being toyed with, and punched the guy, knocking him off of the bench, out of the gazebo and onto the ground.

I began screaming at everyone, venting out every frustration I had with them, finnaly ending it all by calling them all hypocrites for wanting people to respect thier weirdness but mocking anyone different than them. With this I stormed out.

I sat over on the pavement a short distance away. Emily came over and asked why I had snaped like that. I then went into a huge rant where I said that I was sick of being poked fun at because I wasn't like anyone else.

Matt: "You know what I hate Emily? I hate that in order to be heard around here I have to scream. But when I scream people think it's fucking hillarious. IT'S REALLY GOD-DAMN FUNNY ISN'T IT! COME ONE EVERYONE, LAUGH AT MATTHEW, HE'S JUST A CRAZY FOOL, A COMMIE, AND (GOD-FORBID!) HAS A FUCKING CLUE SOMETIMES! LET'S STRING HIM UP, HE HAS NO PLACE HERE!"

I can't remmember what heppend then, all I know was I woke up around 11:30 PM crying. I didn't want to vent like that to her, even if it was just a dream. I'm sorry Emily.