Let's face it, the bible was compiled hundreds of years after the events it reports on. Any given English version has been mistranslated through at least two other languages on its way to English. Not to mention the completely Draconian editing and revisionism imposed by the Christian church over the last two millenia...
It would take an Act of God to make the result anything even close to what the authors intended in the first place.
Biblical Literalism is even sillier than Quakers speaking in Shakespearean English because that's how they thought Jesus spoke, thanks to the King James Bible...