I appear to find myself in a state of flux...
My job is starting to wind up as I prepare to go back to another year at the grindstone and yet I find myself not looking forward as much as i should. I will get to meet up with friends and no longer have to do 40 hour weeks, and yet, and yet...
I have enjoyed my time working, enjoyed having spare money to indulge myself... I'm not so sure that I want to commit to another two years of study instead of working. I have made new friends here and have been offered a full time job if i drop out of my course.
Other factors are starting to influence my thoughts, reasons to not continue putting roots into Aberdeen, factors both pushing me away, and others drawing me elsewhere. My ex being a good reason to leave - I no longer feel I can go out in the City knowing that I will meet her in the clubs I have gone to for five years. These places (and indeed the whole City) feel out of bounds, as if I am being punished for what happened over those three years.
I am at a complete loss as to what to do. The way things are going I will roll with the punches and allow what happens to happen, like i always do. If I do, then I might end up in the wrong place, and away from the one that I care for. The next two months are going to be very hard.