Rather than go into work today, I decided to join the Air Force.
It was weird. I rode up in a Jeep to the person under whose command I was to be placed. He told me the building I needed to go to, and I started walking. I walked through some sort of training going on. They were in their dress uniforms.
At the building, I filled out my paperwork, had to provide a urine sample, and pay $75 in fees ($50 for the application, $25 for the urine test). I ended up paying what turned out to be the daughter of my commanding officer. She was in her late twenties, and very attractive. She enjoyed playing yo-yo in her spare time, except in her version, the yo-yo was strapped to the nose of a helicopter.
I didn't have cash or checks on me, and I noticed that she had a credit card machine. I paid by debit.
I guess I did my thing, because I was now walking through the building in a PT outfit. We were all on our way out to a field, and the dude in charge kept saying how the day's activities would "kick my ass." I just kept thinking how I would be able to tell everyone that I was in the Air Force for a day. On the way out to that training field, I remember asking someone "What time do we get up in the morning?", and I remember thinking about requesting that they not wake me up "too early." Yeah. I'm sure the Air Force would have LOVED That.
The work-out we had to do was strange. They strapped a rubber plate to us that went across our chest, and on each side were elastic bands pulling backward. We had to push forward, and the mechanism pulled back. We had to go as far as we could, and keep on our toes, and then jump up. Jumping up would fling everyone back. I got about 4 feet, and I wasn't flung far. I sucked.
Strangely enough, throughout all of this, I was still wearing my work pager. I found this out, because my manager from work paged me. I called him back, and I was like "You're not going to believe where I am. Air Force Basic Training!" He said "So you're not coming today?", and I was like "Yes I am. I'll see you about 12."
Everything faded away after that, and I eventually woke up.