George Carlin, in his "
Complaints & Grievances" show from 2001, also took a stab at
the Ten Commandments. His argument was that it was a "padded list", "artificially
inflated to sell better", created by "(a) group of political and religious
hustlers (to) scare and control
primitive people". But then again, George was never known for his warmth and kindness.
The main gist of the bit, which I will not reproduce in its entirety due to copyright laws and fear of mass-downvoting, was to reduce the number of commandments. He used the Roman Catholic commandments as his starting point, being born and raised Catholic himself (until he "reached the age of reason", as he is fond of saying).
- The first three commandments - strange gods, name in vain, Sabbath - were deemed to be complete and utter superstitious nonsense, designed to "scare and control primitive people". They are discarded.
- The fourth commandment - honor thy father and mother - is also thrown out. Respect for authority should be based on the individuals performance, not be an automatic response.
- The fifth commandment - the 'don't kill people' one - is kept, but modified. His main problem with this one is that even religious people do not seem to take it very seriously - he mentions Kashmir, the Inquisition and the World Trade Center incident as shining examples - so why should we? Earlier in the show, he professed to not care about gun-laws or killing people, but in what I assume to be an avoidance of idiotic interpretations, it is ultimately kept yet reworded: "Thy shall try real hard not to kill anyone."
- Commandments 6 through 9 are combined, because they ultimately prohibit the same kind of behavior. It is reworded with positive language instead of restrictive language to read, "Thy shalt always be honest and faithful."
- The last one - coveting your neighbors goods - is dismissed as "plain fucking stupid". Prohibiting the desire to own what other people own is what keeps the economy going, so the tenth commandment is dismissed as well.
- In the end, Carlin adds his own commandment to prevent anymore religious hatred and intolerance in the world: "Thy shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
Amazingly enough, this list makes as much sense as the original.