The design of the I-85403 CPU was a
pesky process, at the very least.
You see, originally, the newest class of merchant ship, the Sabretooth Frigate, was supposed to have the I-85400 processor installed in it. The damn thing wouldn't even start its engines, in the initial revision. Oh, we tried to jumpstart it, but do you have ANY idea how big jumper cables are for a space frigate? We needed several dozen shuttles just to lift the things into place.
So I set forth to design the I-85401 for the Sabretooth. I added new instructions.. including ones that would regulate the temperature on the showers, so that you wouldn't get those damn scorching ones, or freezing cold ones. Not only that, but with a little engineering, I could make someone's shower piping hot with the press of a button, hopefully so they'd jump out in front of one of the security cameras. Oops!
Installing the I-85401 was fairly simple, since it used the same socket as the I-85400. I popped out the old dusty beast and slid in the shiny new I-85401, and flicked the switch. The lights flickered and then went out.. and the I-85401 turned cherry red. I dove for cover just in time to see the I-85401 explode, splattering hot metal from the contacts and ceramic shapnel all over the room. I peeked over the top of the desk and saw a large piece of the chip embedded in the tabletop.
This inspired the design of the I-85402.
This time I made sure to add some circuit breakers, fuses, and the like on top of the design for the I-85401. The chip came out of the processing machine a little thicker, but otherwise identical. I hefted the beast down to the central control room, but as I walked down the last hallway, I found myself in a faceplant. I had tripped over one of the obnoxious lips they put in the doorways of spaceships so that the doors can seal perfectly if they need to in case of emergencies. The I-85402 prototype had skidded across the floor until it connected with the far wall, where it had shattered, spreading my precious chip across the ship's smooth deck.
Cursing and rubbing my bruised shin, I stormed up the stairs and back into the research lab to start over AGAIN with the I-85403. I didn't even know whether my last design even worked or not. Not that I really cared, I was twitching from staying up the last 84 hours straight trying to get the damn thing finished. This version I bumpered with heavy neoprene, not to have the same thing happen to me again that happened to the last chip. Gingerly, I lifted the freshly pressed chip from the mold, I tenderly tiptoed down the iron steps and down the hallway.
"Hey! How's it going?!" Shelly, the girl I had had a crush on for the entirety of the 3 years had scared the piss out of me. I fumbled, I dove, and somehow managed to catch the I-85403 before it hit the ground. There was NO way I was going to do this again. Shelly kicked my upturned ass as she walked by. "Long night, killer?"
"Not the time, Shelly.." I muttered as I picked myself up and practically sprinted to the control room. There was NO way I was going to lose this chip. Panting, I slapped the chip into the open socket and pressed the button. Crossing my fingers, I leaned against the wall, waiting to see what happened.
Oh the ship started alright.
But the damn showers haven't turned off yet.