UFS - Unidentified Flying Shit
A story SO bizarre that you would have to see it to believe it..
I was driving back from Softpro Books, in Marlboro, with my roomate Ivan256, on US Rt-20. We were about 1 mile away from the entrance to I-495, when suddenly, and inexplicably, my car was covered in shit.
Yes, shit. From bumper to bumper, randomly, impossibly, out of nowhere, it just appeared, and splattered. Fighting the urge to yuke, I held down the windshield washer until I could see again, then we tried to deduce how this foul-smelling deed occured.
Deductive Reasoning: The nearest vehicle was 50 yards past us, travelling the other direction, making it highly unlikely that it came from them. It hit from the front, so it wasn't the car behind us. We couldn't see the sky, at all, though, and we weren't about to open the windows while the car was covered in that.. stuff. So here were our theories.
An airplane emptied its sewage tanks - We surmised that most of it would have evaporated before reaching us, so this was no good.. A sewage pipe burst in the road before us - We didn't see any open manholes, or any other place it could have come from... Martin suggested that it might have been a muck spreader, but we were in the middle of commercialized highway area, near hotels and such, not near any farms at all..A flock of birds simultaneously emptied their bowels. This seems the most likely of all the theories, although I wasn't aware that fowl could be up to such foul play. If any of you have an unsolved mystery, such as this, or any clues to solve this nasty tale, please /msg me!
This was a true story. It happened today. Afterwards, we hightailed it to the nearest car wash, and pumped the thing with quarters in an attempt to wash it off... eww.