Portnoy had no idea what to do. In a night rife with meandering laughter and root boozles, things had all gotten a little blurry and now he wasn't sure what he had done last night.

He ran into Rosebud The Basselope on his way to the boarding house. Rosebud asked if he'd like to join him for a pop tart, and Portnoy said no. Something about the state he was in made him uncomfortable. Normally he wouldn't turn down a pop tart, I mean... who would, right?

However... "Today is different." Portnoy thought to himself. "Today was just not the day for prepackaged pastries."

love me like the pastry i am ackthppfth

Then it all came back to him.