You're gonna have to do better than that.

See, if you don't hold me tighter, air will get in.

Air is bad.

As a USDA approved slab of cow, I'm high quality. Good marbling with low fat content. From a really, really great cow. I wish you could have met me before I became food.

But I digress. Listen, you have to hold me tighter or else I'll go bad before time. I'll rot. I'll get stinky.

Hold me tighter--please.