"X-Ray Cat can see through wooden doors"

I don't care how many people say this is the worst film ever. In fact, I'd have to agree. This movie is terrible -- but I still love it. Watching this movie in my friend Ben's den summer of eighth grade, I thought it was the best thing ever. We were bored sitting at Ben's house, so we decided to run up to Blockbuster. After a couple of minutes wandering the aisles, Ben comes running up to me holding a DVD.

"Dude! We have to rent this movie!"

"Freddy Got Fingered? Yeah, okay." It was his money.

The movie starts with a number of wacky cartoons, and Gord narrating each of several pages. The beginning is bizarre, but nothing compared to what follows. Tom Green plays a maladjusted, immature, and possibly retarded manchild leaving for the big city to sell his cartoons. In a strange way, we could relate to this character. Or maybe we just found his actions ridiculously inappropriate, which to us was pretty much synonymous with funny.

At age 13, we weren't exactly the pinnacle of maturity.

Years later, I'm hanging out with two of my friends in high school. I still loved this movie. Max thought it was a good idea to watch it with our friend Sarah. I'm not sure what it is about masturbating a horse to orgasm, but I have yet to meet a chick who enjoys watching it done.

"I'm a farmer!" Gord yells as we suddenly lose interest in the movie.

Months after, Sarah told me that she wants to watch the rest of the movie. I warned her that he also jerks off an elephant, but she said it was worth it for how insane the movie is. And I agree, the movie is worth watching. Just be prepared, it's really bad.

I've been meaning to watch it again, but I don't have the time for anything that f***ing stupid right now.