This isn't a node. This is a quick rant. I am not going to format much, or think too hard. I just want you all to know.

I had a wonderful wedding and honeymoon (details to come later)... but when Jeff and I got back from our cruise I found out that the powers that be are trying to close down my school. They are trying to phase us out.

My school is a hands-on, student centered magnet school which teaches through thematic environmental units. We have a max of 16 kids in a classroom. It's fucking beautiful. I actually moved to NC from NY for this damn school. Jeff did too. It was my dream. It was many people's dreams... it still is. Anyway.

So, the school was from fourth to eighth grade. In the phasing out mission, they are not accepting new students. Well, if they don't accept new students, there is no fourth grade. Guess what I teach? I came back from my honeymoon and found that my dream job had been killed. I was told I needed to come back and speak with my new principal at boring-elementary a/s/a/p. Jeff and I drive the 12 hour trip arriving in at 5:30am on Tuesday morning. Guess what? The principal of boring-teach-to-the-test-elementary is on vacation!!! So Jeff and I really did not have to cut our honeymoon short. Assholes.

I'm pissy. If you step in my way, I may squash you unintentionally. I don't mean to. I am pushing people away. I don't want to trust anything. My dreams have been killed and my honeymoon disrupted. All I want to do is cry in defeat. I don't want to teach. I don't want to try. It all sucks. I wish I didn't have to live anymore... but I'm married now and apparently he would care. (sigh)