A movie released on the turn of the 21st century.

Genre: Sci-Fi/Horror.
Director: David Twohy.
Cast: Vin Diesel, Keith David, Radha Mitchell, Lewis Fitz-Gerald, Cole Hauser.
Runtime: 109 minutes.
Web site: http://www.pitch-black.com/

Let me put it this way: Hungry, bored, plain stupid? Make your own 'Pitch Black'!

The Ingredients:

  • blanket.
  • flashlight.
  • pair of black swimming goggles.
  • disgusting plastic cockroach that shines in the dark.
  • large popcorn and a coke.
The making process:
  1. Get under blanket, pretend that you are 5 years old and you are hiding from aliens.
  2. Turn on the flashlight and put on the goggles.
  3. Spend 1 hour and 47 minutes of boring quality time with yourself.
  4. Eat the popcorn and take a zip from the coke.
  5. After precisely 1 hour and 48 minutes turn off the flashlight.
  6. Wave the shiny cockroach in the air, and make scary noises.
  7. Take the goggles off, finish the coke and go home you sick fuck!
Now, if you did not understand any of the above it means that you are probably among the people who actually have a life, and were fortunate enough to miss Pitch Black.

Two major rights were violated during the making of Pitch Black. The basic human rights of the viewers who had to put up with two hours of this crap, and various Copyrights.

Pitch Black is an obvious rip off from two sources. First, the stranded spaceship, the deserted colony on the planet, the dangers from within and without the crew are all classic elements of the 'Alien' series. Second, the idea of a destruction which strikes a planet in cycles of a few years, every time an eclipse takes place is a shameless rip off from Isaac Asimov's famous book Nightfall.

In spite of all the great stolen ideas, Pitch Black is still a bad movie. There is no backbone to the story. They just crash on the planet and immediately begin their rescue. Not much dialogs either, you could probably watch the movie in mute and still understand a great deal.

The main motive of confusing between light and darkness and between good and and evil is emphasized in the sudden change of roles between the 'law enforcing' man and the dangerous murderer. But instead of adding any depth to the movie it lacks reliability, and ends up adding nothing but the element of surprise.

Of course one could claim that since this is a horror movie that is exactly what its makers wanted to achieve. But it is very clear when you watch the movie that Pitch Black was intended to be a cross between science fiction and a thriller. It was meant, and had the potential, to be better, much better. But for some reason it turned out to be a slasher movie movie, and a horrible movie it is indeed.

Oh, you think this is harsh go see the movie.


credits source: http://imdb.com/