I feel like I should write a little update on my life. Many things have happened in the past few months. I'm not sure how to compress them into a single write up and I don't know how to make them seem profound. So here it is in a nutshell: boyfriend dumped me in February, I got a job in my field a few weeks later, and I'm stressed out and lonely as hell.
When I am not at work struggling to catch up on everything I need to be learning, I am usually at home on my big red couch that I hate but am too lazy to get rid of just yet. I don't spend time in the bedroom unless I'm getting changed or sleeping. I prefer the living room where the walls aren't empty and there's not as much around to remind me that he's gone. I am unfortunately stuck in this apartment until my lease is over, and I can't wait to move somewhere else that won't have memories of him lingering about.
I spend most of my time worrying about my future at the company I work at. My boss is difficult to please. We fell so behind in our work today that he was forced to stay late and help me finish, since everyone else in my department had left. He questioned me about it and made comments about how someone must have slowed down. I hope he wasn't implying that it was me, because I worked my butt off. In fact it sort of pisses me off that he would think someone slowed down intentionally. Both of us working late together tonight with no one else around made me feel highly uncomfortable, mostly due to his mini-interrogation. By the end of the shift he seemed happier, though, probably because I answered all of his questions honestly.
Him (sounding pissed off):"Why are the blood samples out? Have they been just sitting like this on the counter all afternoon?"
Me (knowing he'll be mad when I say yes): "I'm not sure. But yeah, probably."
Him: "These people disgust me!"
Me: oh no please don't yell at me . . . okay he's not . . . whew.
This is the first time that I've been afraid of pissing off my boss. Of course this is also the first job I've had where I actually give a shit about whether I'm fired or not. So is this normal? I don't know. It's my first job in my field so I'll just have to adapt to the situation and make the most of it. One cool thing that has happened is that one of my old college classmates was hired into the company. She works downstairs and we're chatting again. This is good, because I currently have no social life, unless you count this past weekend when I saw my hometown friends. I don't have too many friends where I'm living right now and it sucks.
Anyway that's about all that's new with me. I've been eating veggie burgers and leftover chinese take-out food all week because I'm either too tired or too busy to go grocery shopping. The only real shopping I did this week was stopping by Zellers today to pick up a squeaky mouse for my cat Eowyn. She likes it. She's sitting on the other end of the couch licking herself while I type on my laptop. There's a raspberry pie in the fridge waiting for me, and in the cupboard is a case of blackberry merlot wine that my dad made just for me because I'm the only one in the family who enjoys how sweet it is. It's 11:46 pm and I should be going to bed soon. It sucks, because I only just got home a few hours ago. It is so quiet that all I can hear is the ticking of the monopoly clock on the wall and the humming of my laptop. All in all, my life is pretty good. It's not wonderful, but it seems to be slowly going somewhere and that is what matters.