I have no idea how to write about my year without making it sound dull and tedious. In all honesty, I've been very selfish this year. I needed to be. I don't know if I'm even sorry about it. I was preoccupied with fixing myself and it's probably a good thing that I did that. When you aren't yourself, you attract the wrong types of people. They can see that you're missing something inside and they seek you out for that reason. I'm getting pretty good at spotting those types.
I've been telling a lot of people to fuck off.
Not literally, of course, but you know what I mean. And it feels great.
There's not much else to say. That summarizes the past year for me, the whole dealing with anger thing. Right now I'm feeling mellow from a workout at the gym. Exercise helps. Even if you can't make it to a gym, there's a yoga pose that helps to release anger called half pigeon. It's hard to explain without the use of diagrams, but you essentially have one leg bent in front of you as if you were about to cross your legs, then your other leg is stretched out straight behind you. Square your hips and fold your chest overtop of the front leg, bending from the hips. Bring your forearms to the ground, if you can, and rest your forehead on top of your hands, a block, or to the ground. This stretches your hip flexors and the iliotibial band. You can deepen the pose or make it easier by moving your front foot more towards the front of the mat, or in towards your thigh. In yoga, the hips are believed to hold emotions. Opening them releases feelings, which is why it's normal in this pose for things to come up, memories or emotions, that may be difficult to deal with.
I'm not sure if it's just a placebo effect, but it works for me. Maybe it's because my IT band gets really tense and releasing that tension from the body helps me to feel as though I just let go of something. Half pigeon always helps me to feel more calm afterwards, so if anyone else needs to get rid of negative feelings, that's one idea to try.
Anyway. I need to go find something to eat that's not chocolate or kraft dinner. Goodbye, 2012. I don't think I'll miss you too much.