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I often find myself at punk shows telling jokes to all the kids during the break inbetween the bands. I always get a kick out of punk kids laughing at themselves. Maybe I'm a hypocrite, seeing as I'm a chick with a mohawk who loves to tighten my pants and stud up my vest. Anyhow, I thought I'd pass on some of these classic punk jokes.

So there's this punk guy sitting on a bus stop. He's got a multi-colored mohawk, his pants are tight, his leather jacket is studded, he looks like a punk. He's sitting next to an old man, and the old man keeps staring at him. "What the hell are you looking at, old man?" The punk asks, "I bet you did crazy stuff when you were a kid," he says. "Why yes I did," the old man replied,"One time I got drunk and fucked a parrot. I was wondering if you were my son."

Q.)Why did crass breakup?
A.)They lost their stencil.

So there's a punk and a 'normal' guy walking down the street. The normal guy turns to the punk and says, "so hey man - what is punk anyway?" The punk kid thinks about this for a second and says, "you see this?" He knocks over a trash can. "That's punk! Punk is doing what I want when I want." The normal kid thinks about this and says, "so this is punk?" and knocks over a trash can. The punk says, "no that's trendy you poser."

Q.)How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A.)A whole community. One to do it, and the rest to talk of the social changes that will come from screwing in the lightbulb, and then how they got arrested by the cops for it.

Q.)So there's an apartment complex. The skinheads live on the third floor, punks on the second, and hippies on the first. There's a huge fire, who survives?
A.)The skinheads, they were at work.

Q.)There's a punk and a skinhead in a car, who's driving?
A.)A Cop.

So a punk, a skinhead, and a mod all go into a bar to get a beer. They each get a beer with a fly in it. The mod turns the beer down. The punk drinks the beer anyway with the fly in it. The skinhead takes out the fly and yells "spit it out you bastard!"