Today is the girlfriend's birthday, so I took the day off from work to go out and celebrate. We saw Scary Movie; it's fucking hilarious. Then I had a near death experience on the way to the restaurant for dinner. I'm trying to merge right two lanes to make an exit ramp, easier said than done in rush hour traffic, in a vehicle with blind spots big enough to hide a FedEx truck. So, I get some jerk in a little black sportscar out of by blind spot, pull right one lane, look up, and the people ahead of me are FUCKING STOPPED ON THE FREEWAY! I hit the brakes, realize I have no time to stop, look left, there's a blue car in my blind spot, look right, there's a silver car, but farther back than the blue one. I whip right, clearing the stopped cars by about 6 feet, and the silver car by a little less. The car heels over like a sailboat tacking into the wind, but I manage to keep the wheels on the ground. So, about two miles down the road, the Bitch in the silver cougar pulls up next to me, two feet from the side of my car, leans on the horn, and shoots me the finger. By the time she was finished with this little display of road rage, I had my left tires on the line dividing the lanes, and she was still two feet from my passenger window, so she must have come halfway into my lane to make a point about how I'm a bad driver. Fucking skank-ass ho bitch!