display | more...
Something every fearing child will scream when they are assigned to read a version of Beowulf translated from the original Old English by one of the less-respected translators.

I had this experience.

I loved Beowulf. I hated the way it was translated. I hated the footnotes. It was like watching two subtitled movies at the same time. I loved the long soliloquies, the memorable lines-- "Those days are over.", the epic tales of slaying dragons and long swims. So why did I do so bad on the damn test?! This is not the last that i have seen of Beowulf and his Geats. May they return to me in my sound slumber and attack me like the monster I am, beheading me for misconstruing Old English terms and falling asleep with the book on my chest.

May I live at the bottom of the lake with Grendel and his mother, with the special sword, tearing the book to pieces.